I am so sorry ref! I feel this is where we are headed too. You know we (ncp) try to show a consistant life free from lying, cheating, stealing and manipulationg. You hope they can see than cp behavior is far from normal! I can only hope and pray that she will see through all the BS at some point in her life. For you it may take sometime and the time may very well be when she is a grown-up and can seperated herself from BM and BM can do to her all she does to you, because she will. As painful as it is, let SD know you are always there for you and DO NOT GIVE UP...even if her answer is always "no" she doesn't want to do(whatever). She will be reaffirmed in her mind that you still do love her and still do care. Teenagers are not easy creatures, BUT they do grow up! Hang in there and tell your husband to also. Hug yourselves and pat yourselves on the back, being parents is NOT an easy job...tough on the heart, mind and soul...made even worse by a manipulative person that is willing to use their own flesh and blood to get what they want most...back at you!