Can BM think of more than herself

[stepmom who cares]

BM picked up kids this weekend (first visitation in a month).  She picked them up at noon Sat - returned them at 11:00 am Sunday. She told me that she fought with the kids all weekend - they were mad at her because she doesn't have any money to do things with them . . . what about the child support she receives!  Also, that they "stress her out" and even though she is to have them for Christmas - she will have them on Christmas eve - because she needs a vacation - her life is so hectic!
Let's review.  She has no kids on a daily basis.  My two SD-s see her once a month - few phone calls in between.  Her 3rd daughter lives in Chicago with father - she makes no attempt to see her.  She works for the school distict - how days off do they have??  Her hours are 8:00 - 2:30 . . . she receives full child support from us - she lives rent and utility free with "lover"!  What kind of stress can she have!   Since she works for the school district she will have approx 16 days off during the Christmas break - and she wants them for the day on Christmas Eve.  It is her holiday!  One day!  I asked her what her future plans hold?  She doesn't know - she just knows the kids can't live with her - she has too much stress and no money$$$  Help me understand her!  I see myself rushing to work, dropping off at daycare, rushing home for afterschool - managing 3 children - 2 SD's who just plopped in on us in June - and all the school activities - church stuff, etc. I don't feel stressed - or I am just stupid??  Plus, I would like to receive the CS she receives as an extra bonus myself - little spending money!  Okay - I am venting - I feel better - and as always look forward to your input.  

[leskash]

how come you are still paying CS if they have lived with you since June.

[stepmom who cares]

We filed a motion to terminate child support in Oct and were denied!  The lovely state of IL - feels we need to give her more time to get on her feet!  I guess it is our responsibility to help her make a living!  The judge told us to give her 8 months!   So far, she hasn't gotten a place to live - she rents a room ($100 a month) from a friend (which is a front for living with the boyfriend), her second ex pays her truck payment and insurance.  I don't know if she can get an apt because she filed bankruptcy and her credit sucks!   She tells the kids all the time she is broke.  We asked her to please buy snowboats - she does get child support and she told us no - she can't even afford a pair for herself!  She has even told them not to expect much for Christmas becasue there is no money.   She told me they will be at our house for Christmas becasue that way - she doesn't have to give them too much or put too much effort into it because she is so stressed.
I am currently looking into if she receive State aid - something tells me she does!  
If anyone has any suggestions on how to build our case for termination of CS - I would love to hear it.  Apparently, the judge thinks we are made of money - can support the kids and her!  
The sad thing is the kids really want to go back with her.  It breaks my heart that they too could end up losers like her!  I am hoping they will be with us long enough to see some light and their own potential we are trying cultivate in them.