Daycare UPDATE

[NYParent]

Well I called the day care provider (it's home based).  The machine picked up and as I was stating my name, she picked up.  Immediately I could hear the echo of our conversation as the answering machine continued to record (my guess is that's why she had the machine pick it up first).

I stated that I was calling to one find out about DD and two to talk to her about why she hasn't been returning my calls.  She said that DD was "fine" and when I asked her to elaborate she said she couldn't and wouldn't.  I then asked her why she wasn't returning my calls, and she said that she was under advisement from BM and BM's attorney in TX not to return any of my calls or to communicate with me in any other form.  She stated that she was picking up the phone to simply state that so that I could stop calling.

I asked her to please reference the CO that I had given to her and to see that I share joint legal custody of DD and therefore she had a legal requirement to speak to me.  This woman had the nerve to tell me that she had seen all the communication I had sent to BM and all the legal papers and how much BM was spending to "protect" DD.....that instead of focusing on writing letters I should focus of being a father and on sending more money to BM.....she also said that I should spend some time thinking about what a crummy b/f I was to BM and what a shitty dad I was being to DD now.

It took every ounce of self control to not lash out.  I simply stated that the problems between BM and I were between her and I and that she shouldn't get involved.....that it was unprofessional for her to get involved in them.  I reminded her that her only role in this was to take care of DD and that any communication between her and I should not go beyond that. I don't know if she realized at that point what an a**hole she was being, but she said that I could continue to call as long as I did in infrequently.

Now here's the issue.....there's no way in hell I want that woman taking care of DD when she cannot maintain a neutral ground.  I can imagine the types of conversations this b*tch and BM are having about me in front of DD (mom has a habit of doing this).  At this point, is it unreasonable for me to petition that DD change daycare providers with the court?  Has anyone out there dealt with a similar situation?  I can't even imagine what my poor DD is being subjected to listen to from all angles (family, day care, home, etc.).

[ocean]

Is she a state certified place? I have seen where it was written that both parents would used a state certified daycare only. May be able to go the route.

If she is a state certified place then call the state and put in a formal complaint.

Subpoena  her and make her a witness. Have questions ready to ask her.
* Have I left messages for you
*Have I ever asked you anything other than how my child was
*Did I give you copies of the court orders
*Why didnt you return my phone calls
*Did childs mother every tell you anything about me (hearsay but you may get it in)

When mother on stand make sure you question her about this...

[NYParent]

Thanks Ocean.  She is state certified.  I am drafting a formal complaint against her.

I will make sure that my attorney subpoenas her once jurisdiction is finalized.

[Davy]

NYPARENT

IMHO,  by maintaining self-control you continue to take the high road  that has a huge probability of benefitting your child in the long run.  The opposition's angry and MEANINGLESS verbage reflects their low life standards.  You may considerate becoming more polite and letting that puppy run amuck !!  Kudoes to you.  They simply do not realize they are communicating with the child's parent or, even worse, they think they are more important than you.   

Legal and other authorities that will make determinations affecting your child's future will clearly see the difference and it is those entities you should present to via NY subpeona rather than the Tx agency that is likely to function as a casaul observer and do nothing but support their provider.

Moreover, your formal complaint to the agency will carry more weight when accompanied by the subpeona action.   

I have a question.  Do you have any concern that filing a complaint in Tx ( or a legal filing in response ) may risk NY jurisdiction and lead to conferring Tx jurisdiction ??

[ocean]

Good question Davy! Maybe wait until you win jurisdiction, then file complaint for trial in NY. I forgot that she was in TX... they wont make daycare person fly to you but maybe a phone conference call to her where you both can ask questions? Not sure how that works....

[Davy]

Thanks Ocean... This how I think it works or will work. 
 
The daycare provider is perhaps a lovely, nuturing individual but has made the mistake of buying-in to the BM's ranting and raving and there is an awareness that the father is an out-of-state no-count monster SOB.
It is unfortunately that the BM has persuaded the daycare provider to become involved to the point where her mouth has overloaded her a$$.
 
Once the provider learns of the seriousness of her involvement it is likely she'll take on an enlightment of righteousness and become NYparent's best friend ever.  The same may happen across that Tx community with others the BM has spun her evil web.   
 
If causes of action (ie subpeona) do not cause enlightment and she's a no show then NYP will be more than happy to testify on her behalf with the truth and she could easily be saddled with "custodial interference", etc.
 
I feel certain NYP may realize at this point that much of this pain and suffering and subsequent dysfunction is caused by the homestate NOT confering jurisdiction.  And the little ones suffer most.