HELP! Ex wife is taking out life insurance polices on our two young sons...!

[Fatherforever]

Hello,

I am a single father with primary (75/25%) custody of my two son's (ages 3 and 5). My ex wife is very unstable, she refuses to help pay for child care costs, denies the children for her visitation time with them, alot! and today called me asking for the children's social security numbers. She says she wants to take out life insurance policies on both of them so that if they die, their burial costs will be covered. We have joint decision making in our parenting plan, but I find nothing in there about life insurance decisions. This is making me feel ill...

Thanks in advance, any advice is appreciated!

[Kitty C.]

You could look at this a couple ways:  one, she's so tight and callous that if something did happen to the kids, she didn't want to have to shell out any money in the event of their deaths...........or two, she's planning something evil.
 
But it strikes me funny that she would be asking you for their SSN's when she can get them herself.  DS's dad never asked me for DS's, but requested a duplicate card from the SSA.  He needed it to open a money market acct. for DS.
 
I will tell you though....reading your post sent chills up my spine.  I just read an article on abcnews.com about a 5 y.o. still missing (I believe in NC) and they've arrested the mother for human trafficking and abuse.  The child had been in the custody of the father ALL her life until about a month ago, when the father decided to give the mother the opportunity to raise her, since it 'appeared' that she'd turned her life around.  He now regrets it.  And there have been way too many child abductions/murders lately across the nation recently.
 
I would strongly recommend talking to an atty. and maybe your local law enforcement agancy and get their opinion of the situation.  Ask them if there is anything you should be concerned about and what, if anything, you should do about it.  And let us know what happens with this..........I, for one, am very concerned.

[Waylon]

If there is nothing in your custody order that specifically prohibits this, then she can do it. Unfortunately, I don't think there is any way to legally prevent her from taking out life insurance policies on the children. Let her know of your suspicions, and tell her that should anything happen, your first stop will be the police. A lot of times these kinds of people are so stupid that they think no one has any idea what they're planning. Letting her know ahead of time may stop her from doing whatever it is she may be planning.

Hello,

I am a single father with primary (75/25%) custody of my two son's (ages 3 and 5). My ex wife is very unstable, she refuses to help pay for child care costs, denies the children for her visitation time with them, alot! and today called me asking for the children's social security numbers. She says she wants to take out life insurance policies on both of them so that if they die, their burial costs will be covered. We have joint decision making in our parenting plan, but I find nothing in there about life insurance decisions. This is making me feel ill...

Thanks in advance, any advice is appreciated!

[gemini3]

Taking out life insurance on children that young is a little strange.  Especially that she would be willing to pay for that, but won't help with any other costs.
 
When you say that your wife is unstable... has she ever tried to commit suicide?  Has she ever threatened it - or said things that would hint around at it.  Has she been diagnosed with a mental illness of any kind?  If so, what?
 
If any of the above are true, she (and the children when they are with her) could be at risk.  If she's suffering from depression, or some other type of disorder, you might want to go and ask for supervised visitation until her psychologist feels that there is no danger to herself or to the children.

[MrCustodyCoach]

Without a court order that expressly prohibits it, and I doubt that would ever happen, there is nothing you can do about it, well... with exception of not providing her with the SS numbers which she can get on her own.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it with her.  That's not to minimize your concern, but truly - there is nothing you can do to stop it from happening, and I can think of no authority that has the ability to step in to stop it.

Further, the absence of life insurance on the children will not stop anything about which you're worried from happening.

Best you can do is monitor the situation.

[Fatherforever]

 

Taking out life insurance on children that young is a little strange.  Especially that she would be willing to pay for that, but won't help with any other costs.

When you say that your wife is unstable... has she ever tried to commit suicide?  Has she ever threatened it - or said things that would hint around at it.  Has she been diagnosed with a mental illness of any kind?  If so, what?

If any of the above are true, she (and the children when they are with her) could be at risk.  If she's suffering from depression, or some other type of disorder, you might want to go and ask for supervised visitation until her psychologist feels that there is no danger to herself or to the children.

Her whole family, starting with her grandmother are very unstable people. She is on anti-anxiety medication atm, because she has sudden outburst. The only reason I found out about this is because I talked to her aunt. She is a very selfish person and about 4 times in the past year and a half that we've been separated she has called me up telling me she's screwed everything up, or that she is going to go move to Montana to get away from it all, but that only lasts a few hours, before she's back to herself.

My amazing girlfriend and I have been keeping a daily journal on any time I have contact with her and what happens during those encounters. My gf calls them incident reports, she has been typing them up for me since the end of June 2009 and people would be appaulled at the kind of things that are in those reports. My lawyer told me, we need at least a years worth of bad behavior before I should try to file for sole custody, but she has provided over a years worth of bad behavior in 5 months. Anyways, a little off the subject, but figure people who are concerned should know that everything is being documented. It just puts me on edge that the thought of insuring towards our children's deaths is a priority for her, rather than providing for their lives.

Thank you to all who have posted.

[snowrose]

Taking out life insurance on a child is not strange - it's just not heard of as often as it use to be in the past.  But, for example, Gerber - the baby food people - offer life insurance on children.  It's often seen as a form of forced savings to have money available for the child when they grow up.
 
Here's the Gerber page for children's life insurance...
 
http://www.gerberlife.com/gl/view/guide_products/growup/index.jsp

[Fatherforever]

Yes, I knew the Gerber one was a popular one, and I wouldn't have been as worked up about it, but she specifically said she wanted to get in so in the event that one of the children die, we don't have to pay for funeral costs. That's what scares me, not the life insurance itself.

[MixedBag]

When I put all of my children on as "riders" that was the specific reason too in the back of my mind -- to help or pay for funeral costs and it was very very inexpensive.
 
I did it when they were young too.
 
Just keep your eyes and ears wide open -- and encourage other family members to do the same......