Can I move again?

[Stats]

Stats

[reshawn]

Here's the situation, I've always had physical and legal custody of my eight year old daughter.  Two years ago a home evaluator came in because I suspected sexual abuse on my daughters father part (he had visitation with her).  The evaluation was completly against him, and supported what I was saying...  He had supervised visitation at a center, stopped coming, never heard from him until two years later when I got served papers to give him visitation.  I had a crappy lawyer because she wanted to settle instead of letting the judge rule, so we have a parenting plan that gives him every other weekend, mainly because psychiatrist said she was to young for therahy, she had been abused but it was to hard to pin point who...
 
So fast forward, he starts seeing her, and a couple of months later me and my husband want to move to Alabama, to make a better life so we thought, he agreed with us leaving and sent for her during holidays, we only stayed for nine months because the economy was even worse than where we are from, Maryland.  We came back to Maryland, no jobs and no place, staying with family....  Now we have to leave where we were staying and are facing becoming homeless, our only option is to move to Florida (currently in Maryland) but I'm worried that this will cause my daughter's father to drag me in court screaming I'm unstable...
 
Not ot mention in January I ship out for the US Army, and within six months from then I'll have a new duty station...
 
So am I risking everything going to Florida but not having my family homeless?

Do I appear unstable and unfit?
 

[ocean]

If you have sole custody then you dont need his permission. Look at your papers and see if you have to ask the courts permission to move. I would think if you are military, then it wont be perceived as crazy as military families move. Offer the same schedule he got while you were out of state again.

I would be careful though because FLA can not take over the court case unless you live there more than 6 months. And then you are going away...where will the child stay? Can father take her while you are away...? He may be able to get custody while you are away if you dont address it now in court. Once you are gone, he can ask for temporary custody of her.

[reshawn]

I'm married with four other children and accordingus to the military I don't need a family care plan because custody stays with my now husband, whose raised her since she was 1, she knows him better than her own father.... 
 
My concern is that me going to florida now helps us to not be homeless, but might gine my daughter's father reason to drag me in court and either make me come back or postpone my move.... my mother in law has a 6 bedroom house that she's offered us to live in , rent free, until I get my duty station (six months down the line)...

[reshawn]

Oh and as far as what does my order say, it's something to the effect that we'll agree on any moves out of state.... I'll get the exact wording tonight...

[Davy]

I disagree with the statement "If you have sole custody then you dont need his permission " (to move to another state).
 
I seriously doubt if such a statement is written into any legal statue anywhere.  That's not to say that such an issue has not become a social policy somewhere and other legal stop gap measures exist to help prevent such removables.
 
In consideration the child was previously robbed of a relationship with the other parent along with the clearly unstable  living arrangement ... past, present and proposed future it is my IMHO a very favorable parental access plan should be coordinated FOR the child with the potential left behind parent.  No games. No government intervention.

[ocean]

If she had Sole custody with no provision of not moving in her orders then she can without breaking any laws. I do not agree with the military person who told her she didnt need new orders when she left though...I would double check that... Leaving child with step father who has no legal rights in court will allow the father to come and ask for temporary custody. He would have to prove it is best to for child to live with him during that time but it has been done.

[MixedBag]

I have to agree with Davy -- the moving stuff is going to be located in the state's code and not in the individual's decree.
 
The individual won't need a family care plan because she is married, period.  It doesn't matter to the military if that spouse is a biological parent or a step-parent -- retired military here and that's how it was during the 20 years I was on active duty.
 
Now -- back to the moving issue, jurisidiction, and stuff.
 
If the bio-dad to the child did not leave the original jurisdiction (Maryland), then even if the mother moves with the child (around the world), Maryland will retain jurisdiction until the father moves out of the area.  (IMHO -- I am no attorney, k?!)
 
If Mom has a signed contract to enter the military in January, here's what I suggest.
 
1.  File now to get permission from the courts to "move in conjuction with your military career" and use that signed contract as your "significant change in circumstances" to justify going back to court.
 
2.  Work with dad on coming to an agreement for a long distance plan.
 
Personally -- and again I'm no attorney -- since Mom has had custody, since dad has previously agreed to a move either through court or his actions, I think the court will let Mom move.
 
I also suggest that as the child gets older, as the time with dad goes well without incident, that Mom consider more frequent and longer periods of time with dad -- particularly if dad asks.
 
And Mom, hire an awesome attorney.  Once you leave, you will be on active duty and the SSCRA will protect you some, but not totally, from going back to court.  So -- do the right thing, ask now, get the ball rolling now, and if this isn't settled by the time you leave, make 100% sure your attorney knows how to contact you and what you want and stuff.  You may be able to appear by phone to get this solved. 
 
 

[reshawn]

Thanks for all the great advice
 
I read my order and it says that if the mother or father wishes to move and the parenting plan can not be executed as set forth the moving parent must provide 30 days notice to the other parent and the parents must come up with a replacement plan or use mediation before coming to court....

[Davy]

I have to agree with MB (ha !)
 
And further the bio parent would not have to prove anything if the child is left with the SF simply because the SF is not the parent and absolutely has no standing for custodial rights and may even be considered abandment.
 
Sole custody may allow relocating within a jurisdiction but Maryland statues do not apply in the anartic.
 
I hope this enlistment is at an officer pay grade.

[MixedBag]

Then Mom, get the ball rolling and send dad a notice and proposed offer on how you think it would be best for the child.
 
Davy -- have to disagree about that abandonment thought.  If Mom enlists in the military, those laws and stuff will immediately kick in and with the "trend" today to protect a person who is serving, I doubt the dad will get far in court.....because the SSCRA stuff will also kick in.  Mom just needs to leave step-dad with a power of attorney just in case.

[Davy]

MB; I reviewed the SSRCA.  As expected I found absolutely NO entitlement to provide for a parent entering the military or active duty military to defeat a bio parent's custodial rights or change custody to a non-parent. 

The act does define "Home of record" vs "legal residency" and even the wording of those issues does not appear, if fact further substantiates, the principles of the UCCJA and PKPA.  In other words, the left-behind parent would not be called upon to participate ia a custody hearing in Nova Scotia. Makes sense.
 
If your post referred to "PC" ........... hopefully that to will lessen in light of the recent events at Fort Hood.   

[MixedBag]

HUH?  Davy, now you really have me confused....
 
I think you're confusing apples and oranges...
 
The military -- in my experience -- makes "single parents" have contingency plans in case the active duty member has to deploy and children are left behind that need to be taken care of.  I found myself in that situation a few times....and I had to determine a "short term" guardian, "long term" guardian, and then make sure the proper legal paperwork was in place (many different power of attorneys).  It had nothing to do with being divorced and who or where their father was.....and what family court said.  When I got married again, I didn't need to have a plan anymore because the girls' stepfather was automatically -- according to Uncle Sam -- the person who would take care of my children in the event I was deployed -- or temporarily on duty elsewhere -- etc. 
 
When a recruit -- civilian -- wants to join the military -- if they are a single parent, for many many years, they were not allowed to enlist.  Rules change -- and maybe now a days -- single parents have to have a plan in place to take care of their kids before they are even allowed to sign any kind of contract to go on active duty.  This Mom is married -- by Uncle Sam's standards, the stepfather is automatically there to take care of all of the children -- his and his step-child's.
 
It's not in the SSRCA.  It might be in Title 10 of the USC, but my better guess would be that it's in the Personnel Regulations for each branch of the service -- which is why you'll get different answers from the Army, Navy, AF, and Marines.  And if its in Personnel Regulations, the #1 General can change his mind about the policy that the regulation reflects, and bingo it gets changed.  If it's in Title 10 USC, Congress has to change the law.
 
Home of Record is always the address that I had when I joined the service.  My legal residency changed as I moved around the country and decided whether or not I wanted to change from Indiana to California to West Virginia to Alabama.  It's what determined my driver's license, state taxes, and legal right to file for a divorce. 
 
Haven't got a clue about your last sentence -- honestly.
 
But I gotta go back and agree -- I hope she's thinking "officer" side of the house -- as an Enlisted Person -- no matter what branch, she's in for a ..... well, there are positives, so I must stop.

[Davy]

Considerations for the OP : I  reviewed AF and Army policies  and one thing consistent thru out was the requirement of a COURT ORDER  and not just a "power of attorney" or some other administrative document. 

 
 
Think of it this way.  We would be in very serious trouble, and I do mean serious, if the military was able to make custody determinintations impacting private citizens and children.
 
The folllowing was found on an AF site :
 

4.23.1. The Air Force recognizes that some individuals, for personal reasons, have given up custody of a

child or children. Transferring custody of family members for the purpose of entering the Air Force is

prohibited and renders the enlisted programs applicant permanently disqualified. It is not the intent or

desire of the Air Force to require any person to relinquish custody of his or her children to qualify for

enlistment. Therefore, recruiting personnel must never counsel such applicants to intentionally change

their marital or custodial status for the purpose of enlistment qualification.

4.23.2. Single member parent applicants who, at the time of initial processing for enlistment, indicate

they have a child or children in the custody of the other parent or another adult will be advised and

required to certify that their intent at the time of enlistment was not to enter the Air Force with the

express intention of regaining custody after enlistment. These applicants must complete an AFRS IMT

1328,

Statement of Understanding for Single Member Parent Having Dependent(s) in the Custody

of Another.

[/B][/FONT]

4.23.3. Advise applicants that, if they regain custody during their term of enlistment, they will be in

violation of the stated intent of their enlistment contract. They may be subject to involuntary separation

for fraudulent entry unless they can show cause, such as the death or incapacity of the other parent or

custodian or a change in their marital status from single to married
 
I REALLY HOPE THIS HELPS ........
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[reshawn]

Just wanted you all to know that I told the father that I was leaving for the army in January and he instantly said our daughter is coming to live with me right, I laughed in his face and said I wasn't giving up custody to him, he claimed he wouldn't ask me to, to just let him keep her, he must thinks I'm a fool!

So anyway I went straight to the court house after the conversation, filed for modification of our order.  I was told because I'm not asking to change the visitation schedule I just need to change the wording of the order to say that my husband will become the facilitator and maintain my custody while I'm away at basic, of course once I get my duty station I'll have to mod again, but that's how the paralegals said it will be done, because they just had a military case that went the same way, the grandmother actually became the facilitator though...
So thanks for all of the advise, it helped me so much!

[MixedBag]

Davy -- see she is NOT a single parent -- she is married -- so the regulation references do not apply.
 
HOWEVER she is not married to the father of her child.....so she still has to ask family court to allow her to move with the child which the military is going to make her do.
 
So....when she is not with the child and can not personally authorize medical care (for example) because she is temporarily out of pocket (in basic training, temporary duty, or deployed), the STEP-parent steps in.
 
IF she becomes a single parent AFTER enlistment -- like she divorces step-dad/dad, they will not kick her out.
 
They will tell her to invoke power of attorney's to have another adult temporarily take care of her children.
 
Your reference applies to single parents who want to INITIALLY enlist......and then that policy changes as the wind blows and as they need recruits because regulations reflect public law and policy.