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SPARC Forums  |   Main Forums  |  Custody Issues (Moderators: Kitty C., olanna, Buff)  |  Topic: Going to Attorney Tommorrow « previous next »
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jakerr
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« on: Nov 11, 2009, 07:22:29 am »

I am going to the att office tomorrow with a list of questions-
 
1  Can I get a home study done on BM - I would like to know the living arragements
 
2 Chacerter of BM boyfriend    I have a feeling it is not good
 
3 I found out that child is sleeping in a room with  BM BF and baby brother
 
4 can i ask that the daycare she  might be attending be as good if not better than she I have put her in now
 
5 point out that with this move I can not be the father I would like to be
 
6 Lack of income on her part to give her the things that she needs
 
If there is any other questions that anyone can think of please let me know. I want to go in and be prepared to the max
 
 
Jason
 
 
 
 
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Kitty C.
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« Reply #1 on: Nov 11, 2009, 01:55:53 pm »

The only word of advice I could give is be expected to undergo the same scrutiny that you are asking of the BM.........home study, background check, etc.  In fact, when you ask for that, make sure you state that you want both parents's homes to be evaluated.
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Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......
ocean
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« Reply #2 on: Nov 11, 2009, 03:10:09 pm »

You still have temp custody of the child right?
I would not give up anything at this point.

Is there a trial scheduled or another hearing?
If it is a trial you can ask BM under cross where child sleeps, does child have own bed, own bedroom (they dont need their own bedroom in court though...)


1  Can I get a home study done on BM - I would like to know the living arragements

 If it is a trial you can ask BM under cross where child sleeps, doeschild have own bed, own bedroom (they dont need their own bedroom incourt though...) Unless you think her place is neglectful...save your money and cross her

 
2 Chacerter of BM boyfriend    I have a feeling it is not good

Will not come into play...really it wont...unless abuse...

 
3 I found out that child is sleeping in a room with  BM BF and baby brother

See #1 and put in final order, child will sleep on own bed

4 can i ask that the daycare she  might be attending be as good if not better than she I have put her in now
 DONT offer this....you are winning!! You can say, all daycare will be provided by a certified person and you have first right of refusal when mom needs a babysitter...(put over the boyfriend or future spouse)
At this point I would state mom needs to use current provider so child has a consistency.

5 point out that with this move I can not be the father I would like to be
You already won this.,..they gave you temp custody...you need to show that the child is happy and thriving with you. Bring last checkup from dr (copy) that child is a well child... let daycare show up and give lawyer questions he can ask them...like who drops/pick ups, child happy?, has mother ever contacted you? has mother ever showed up at school (and video taped??)
 
6 Lack of income on her part to give her the things that she needs
Your lawyer can have the list of why things should stay the same,,,be careful saying she has no money because there are instances of father still paying child support to make both houses equal...

If you think drugs are involved, request both parties to a drug test.

I would be asking your lawyer how you are going to keep things the SAME and get something in writing about her visitation so it is not "reasonable" any longer. I would also address the school district situation NOW so you dont go through this again. CHild will go to school in fathers home district and visitation will change to XXX (or be adressed later but father is home school...).

Have your lawyer play the game of stalling...they are good at it...the longer you have child the better but maybe they can stall but give HER a temp visitation schedule so you dont have to worry about her not returning child.

Ask to see what visitation plan he is offereing BM,,,have one ready to give HIM of what YOU want. With holidays, birthdays, summers, vacations, times, places, what happens at age 5. DETAILED. Bring what you want to offer to him and see what he says and how he thinks he can get it to happen,

As for having other siblings at the other house...not your issue. The children will be together on moms parenting time just like the child will be with you and future children on your parenting time...

Good luck!
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