SSDD...will it ever end??

[Stats]

Stats

[chickenbubbasmom]

  It was DH's weekend, however, BM was to have the boys on Halloween from after school (2 pm) until 8 pm. BM told DH earlier in the week, flat out she was not returning the children at 8 pm.

We decide to take a different approach this time. DH has no desire to drive out to where BM lives at 8 pm only for her not to show, call police to make a report, etc.. so DH offers a compromise. In exchange for allowing extra time, BM to drop children off at gas station near our home before 11pm. She agrees. At this point we should know better, right??

DH allows her to have children at noon per her request, even meets her halfway. DH was willing to give her the children after son's soccer game, but older son said he didn't have a costume, so we came home first to get him his costume from last year.

DH calls BM around 9:30 pm to get an idea of when she will be dropping them off. She tells him she will only drive halfway, since she had to drive halfway to pick them up. Calls him a liar and says she never agreed to bring them back here. Says she doesn't have gas to drive them all the way. She calls back around 10:15 pm saying she is at the halfway point and demands we come get them. DH refuses, telling her to bring them here. She never calls back.

The next morning, older son calls and asks dad to come get him. Older son says mom will not let him go, unless DH agrees to drive both trips. It's still DH's weekend, and bm is required to pick up the children here at 5pm. DH tells son he should not be discussing this with him, and asks to speak to mom. BM restates that she will not let him have the children unless he agrees to drive both trips. In past 5 days we have made 6 round trips plus the half trip! BM made 1 trip plus the 1/2. BM has DH on speaker phone during the conversation. BM's boyfriend yells racial slurs at DH in the background, calls him a spic and an a**hole. BM refuses to give him the children, and hangs up. We call police, who can do nothing since we do not have an address. Half hour later, she calls back and tells DH to come get the children.

When we pick up the children, they ask DH why mom's boyfriend was saying all those things. Older son says mom's boyfriend talks very badly about DH, and that he is not as nice to them when mom isn't home. Older son realizes he just gave away too much information and gets a little tongue-tied. Mom is not supposed to be leaving the children in her boyfriend's care per court order.

It's just so frustrating...BM says DH will be in trouble at the contempt hearing because she can prove she wasn't at work the night older son said she was, the night we originally filed the contempt hearing about. We know the children were left alone with her boyfriend that night, but turns out she might have gone in only to change her schedule, and was told to go home due to her being so upset by the court hearing earlier that day.. it burns me up to know she will probably get away with it again because we can't prove anything.

[MixedBag]

pick and choose....
 
file the battles in court that you can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt.
 
The other stuff will still come in handy -- maybe during testimony.
 
Good luck -- this may not be a clear win for dad, but it's probably not gonna be a "clearly got off the hook" for mom either.

[gemini3]

Is transportation covered in the CO?

[chickenbubbasmom]

Thanks MB, just feeling a little frustrated .. it burns me up knowing that she's breaking the court order in half a dozen ways at any given time, and there's really nothing we can do.

gemini..transportation states receiving parent picks up. I guess the lesson learned here is, don't stray from the order. BM clearly can't be trusted to do the right thing, even when it's to her benefit and the benefit of the children.

[MixedBag]

Long story, short.
 
I was in court in early October.
 
Dad got his but chewed a few times (again), and probably doesn't even realize it.
 
Dad has broken the rules already too again.
 
but they fall into the category of "I can fix it using the back door called research"
 
so it happens.
 
I will document, print, file, and use when the time is right.
 
And dad will print this response, file, and THINK it's useful sometime down the road too.