Sorry this is so long – have a custody trial scheduled within the next week, just waiting for confirmation of the actual date. So far, schedule has been decided by either a conciliator or the judge. Last conference with judge resulted in dad’s 2nd insistence on a trial – so judge is giving him one. In the interim, I received 1 “non-negotiable offer.” The one prior to this offer came with the same letter that went to the judge requesting a 2nd pre-trial conference.
A little background – father has been laid off/collecting unemployment since 10/26/09, however running at least one business under the table, disclosed a 2nd self-employment venture at the last conference (judge didn’t know about 1st business). Please note, money is not my issue or drive – and yes, I do receive CS that is spent for the child. My lifestyle has not changed due to this extra money. He also has never participated in anything pre-birth things or basically after and up to this point.
2nd to last offer/demand (came with letter to judge) – he’s going to ask that he provide daycare 5 days a week, keep EOWknd, plus wants 2 overnights a week. Last offer/demand changed to 2 overnights a week, 2 days a week he provides day care (same day as overnight), keeps his EOWknd but on that Friday he can pick our son whenever he feels like it.
His ultimate goal is to eliminate CS and show he has more time on paper – basically he’s one of those people that are just out to “win” regardless of what it pertains to (he’s a quantity guy, not a quality guy). Morals, honesty and responsibility aren’t his strong points. Sorry – had to vent for a sec on that one J.
He currently has EOWknd, 1 week he has M/W from 8-5pm (falls on same week as his weekend) and the opposite week he has M/W 4-7pm.
My offer is as such – and asking everyone’s input on the fairness of my proposal. He retains M/W 8-5pm every week, retains EOWknd with current pick-up/drop-off times. Current holiday’s etc. remain the same. No longer week on week off in summer, but each parent reserves the right to 1 week uninterrupted vacation during the summer, i.e.sometime during the months of June – August. This week cannot infringe on the other parents holiday. This week has to be disclosed to the other parent by March 31 (or something like that) and then the travel arrangements, etc. 2 weeks prior to departure.
Reality is, my son goes to bed by about 8pm anyway – so his 2 day visits pretty much equal to what I would have at night (meaning quality time, not quantity). Once his arrears are paid in full, I would agree to have CS reduced to just daycare/medical expenses since this is provided by me/employer. There is no reason that I should have less time with my son because I work outside the home – although I also have the option to work from home, but being realistic – you can’t do both during the day, it’s almost impossible. I did it for 4 weeks after my maternity leave was over. Plus – 2 home businesses….he has to work and sleep sometime.
I am the one who provides all of the medical care, he’s been to 1 doctor’s appointment (out of about 7 I think), the rest have infringed on his vacations (he told the judge he had just sat down for dinner so he couldn’t make a few…he left out he was 5 states away) so he didn’t go. I pick up my son sick more often than not – meaning he should have seen the doctor over his weekend, or at least called the doctor. Etc., etc. His job stability is unstable, I have a fantastic private babysitter and my son loves it there. I don’t want to lose my sitter’s and this provides a stable schedule for everyone.
Thoughts….input??
I also wanted to ask that he pay my costs this time, worst I can be told is no.
Topic: Fair custody proposal? (Read 1576 times)