"Best interest of the children"

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[MrCustodyCoach]

Whats next?? i just got a letter from my payroll department and they're taking away $854 a month on my paycheck for the temporary child support..that is so rediculous..she hasnt even seen the kids or took care of them..I still have them from day one she took off 4 yrs ago...i have a mediation on nov 20th and trial on dec 11th, can the judge order to return all the money that she recieved coz she didnt take care of the kids..this is my and the kids rent money...im so lost with this..pls help!!!

It's not the fault of your payroll department, it's the fault of whoever issued the order.

If you currently have custody of the children, under no circumstances should you be paying child support to the mother.

Do you have an attorney?

[tgastte]

Whats next?? i just got a letter from my payroll department and they're taking away $854 a month on my paycheck for the temporary child support..that is so rediculous..she hasnt even seen the kids or took care of them..I still have them from day one she took off 4 yrs ago...i have a mediation on nov 20th and trial on dec 11th, can the judge order to return all the money that she recieved coz she didnt take care of the kids..this is my and the kids rent money...im so lost with this..pls help!!!

It's not the fault of your payroll department, it's the fault of whoever issued the order.

If you currently have custody of the children, under no circumstances should you be paying child support to the mother.

Do you have an attorney?

I know its not the payrolls fault, its my ex who enforced it its a pendente lite order from our first OSC..i dont even know why did she enforced it and she knows that i have the custody and she doesnt even call or visit the kids..she's not following the court order..all iknow that all she wants is the support money..she dont care about the kids..she abandoned them 4 yrs ago...i dont have a lawyer.. too expensive and i cant afford it from the very beginning, ishe had a lawyer before but the lawyer quit on her now she's also a PRO-PER...hopefully on the trial the judge will see where im coming from..i dont think he look or read or ask about our situations...

[tgastte]

All i want is SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY and if i can get the LEGAL too why not? coz i dont want her to disrupt the kids school and life..her life is so miserable i dont want her to drag the kids with her..she doesnt have a permanent place to stay, she has a newborn baby, NO JOB for 3 yrs now, on welfare, got busted for methempethamine..i dont know whats wrong with the judge why she got that rediculous amount of support..because she's unemploted? or she's a loser? im just gathering up all my ammunition for my mediation and for my trial..any suggestions or comments are more welcome..

[tgastte]

Getting close for my mediation on the 20th..im just trying to gather up my thoughts and my papers...Im just going there with the facts and reality that i was taking care of both my kids for the last 4 yrs..and i should be the full physical custodian of both my kids...thats it!! comments and suggestions are more welcome..

[asof2005]

Does your family court website have a list of criteria when determining custody?  At ours we have the 12 custody factors that they basically go down the list and choose a parent that either "wins" the point or it is equal.  After all 12 have gone through, the parent who "won" the most factors is generally awarded custody.  The factors in our state include the capacity to care for the child's medical, schooling, etc.  It also has the "moral fiber" as one and so on.  Some are considered ties such as they both have love, affection and emotional ties to the children.  My list shows the factors and explains them.  I would go through each factor and write down how you personify it with your child.

[tgastte]

Does your family court website have a list of criteria when determining custody?  At ours we have the 12 custody factors that they basically go down the list and choose a parent that either "wins" the point or it is equal.  After all 12 have gone through, the parent who "won" the most factors is generally awarded custody.  The factors in our state include the capacity to care for the child's medical, schooling, etc.  It also has the "moral fiber" as one and so on.  Some are considered ties such as they both have love, affection and emotional ties to the children.  My list shows the factors and explains them.  I would go through each factor and write down how you personify it with your child.

nope our court here in california doesnt have any criteria just the "BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD" with my situation i think i have a good shot of keeping the custody coz i had them for 4yrs straight already, same school district, same house, ame doctor, same set of friends..if u dont mind can u pls post the link of the 12 criteria so i can make notes from that and use it as a reference when i go to my mediation and trial..thanks a lot!!!

[asof2005]

http://courts.michigan.gov/scao/resources/publications/manuals/focb/cp_investigationmnl.pdf

If that doesn't work, I typed in Michigan's 12 custody factors in my search engine.  Now, again this is Michigan, but I think what is in the criteria is probably pretty standard around the board.  I guess using it as an outline for yourself wouldn't hurt.  Good luck.

[tgastte]

http://courts.michigan.gov/scao/resources/publications/manuals/focb/cp_investigationmnl.pdf

If that doesn't work, I typed in Michigan's 12 custody factors in my search engine.  Now, again this is Michigan, but I think what is in the criteria is probably pretty standard around the board.  I guess using it as an outline for yourself wouldn't hurt.  Good luck.

i read it and its very helpful.......i scored 12 out of 12 on that custody determination..so hopefully the mediator and the judge will look at it..thank a lot!!!!!!!!!

[MrCustodyCoach]

Those lists of criteria often leave off the part where it's graded on a curve in favor of the mother in most cases.  If you're the mother, that sole criteria often trumps everything else that they put in those documents for show.

[tgastte]

UPDATE: ok im going to have a mediation this friday 11-20-09, so she already got some child support money taken out of my paycheck $854, so our daughters birthday came and gone and my daughter told her since she got the money for the child support, she should pay for the party, so she agreed...take note she getting money for child support but the kids are living with me for the last 4 yrs straight thats why im going for the trial to take out the child support and have full physical custody of our kids..by the way the party is gonna be this coming saturday 11-21-09, she invited all her friends coz her mom told her that she will take care of everything, food, drinks etc..my daughter has been calling her for 2 straight weeks, either no answer or she's in the hospital, the EX told my daughter that she's in the hospital for 9 days straight for HIGH-BLLOD pressure, i worked in the hospital and i finished my nursing degree, there is no way that the hospital will confine her for 9 consecutive days for high blood pressure, me and the kids already know that is a BIG LIE!!!..what upset me is my kids are going through this, especially my daughter everytime she try to contact her about her party she's not there...for the last 2 weeks my daughter is so stressed out and crying everyday about her party because her mom is not responding or taking care of the party..Im just hoping the mediator and the judge will look into all the angles of my situation..thank you everybody for inputing and responding to my situation...WISH ME LUCK ON FRIDAY FOR MY MEDIATION AND ON MY TRIAL ON DECEMBER 11th...THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS!!!!!

[sillystring]

GL today, let us know what happens!

[tgastte]

GL today, let us know what happens!

****11-20-09**** UPDATE!!!
 
So we both went to the mediation this morning and she requested separate meeting and she went ahead first...first of all the mediator was great!!!my stbx spent 30 mins in the room with the mediator and then it was my turn... i went in there with just facts and reality in my mind..I told the mediator that i had the kids for 4 yrs straight, took care of them without any problems, i also told the mediator about her not visiting since the last OSC order that she only saw the kids 3 times for about 5 hours each time..i also told the mediator that i will give here visitation every other sunday from noon till 6pm but supervised, no overnights coz she's living with her boyfriend and their infant child in a studio with other people..with all the facts the mediator made n wrote the recomendation report for the court..the mediator told me that there is no way that my ex will get custody of the kids since i had them for the last 4yrs straight n took care of them, i saw the report from my ex the mediator only had her side of the story on a half sheet of paper compared to mine i had 3 pages long in the end the mediator told me there is nothing to worry about coz this is our last mediation before the trial and base on the his reports and reviews that i will get FULL PHYSICAL CUSTODY!!!..mediation ended walked out of the court with a big smile on my face...and then my plan for the trial is i will ask the judge to base the child support on the custody or parenting time...coz right now im getting screwed with $854.00 a month and she doent even see or take care of our kids....thank you for all the advice, comments and suggestions..GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!! and keep all the BLESSINGS and advice, comments and suggestions coming coz this site really helps a lot!!! THANK YOU AGAIN AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!

[asof2005]

Awesome!  Another victory for the father's side!  I hope everything continues to go in the children's favor!

[tgastte]

Awesome!  Another victory for the father's side!  I hope everything continues to go in the children's favor!

thanks!!!! hopefully it will be a win all the way through!!!

[tgastte]

I got one more question to everyone here....Does the judge always or usually follows the MEDIATORS recommendation??? coz this was our third one the first one we had 50-50 for her to spend some time with the kids BUT that order kicked in MAY-09 till now she only saw the kids 4 times, the second mediation the recommendation was father will have FULL PHYSICAL CUSTODY but when we faced the judge she disaggreed to it, so now we had to go to TRIAL on DEC 11th but before that the judge ordered a FINAL MEDIATION, so this time the MEDIATOR gave me FULL CUSTODY...what i wanna know if the JUDGE always follows the MEDIATORS report or recommendation?? pls help!!! thank you for all you inputs and comments..GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!!!!