I think in fairness to everyone, everyone is going to have a difference of opinion based on whatever experience they have been through.
The poster is not wrong for being angry and upset at her ex for not helping support THEIR children. We can all argue semantics, but the bottom line is, no one is wrong for their feelings. It's their reality. You don't know what impact his refusal to pay has had on the children. My ex doesn't pay his support, he doesn't call his chldren, his family has not called or acknowledged their grandchildren, my children, in over four years. Before you go there, I make my children call them, but what can they say to adults who every other day of the year never acknowledge their existence.
My older son walked in my room one night not so long ago while I was trying to pay bills and I was upset because it was the beginning of the school year and they needed clothes, dr visits, sports equpment...an overwhelming number of things and I was crying. He asked me if their Dad ever helped with anything for them, then he told me not to answer he already knew.. For the record, my ex has a great job but chooses not to pay any support. He doesn't buy them anything and he owes 40k in child support I have never sought. Once a year the state has caught up to him, made him pay $500 and then he goes on and doesn't pay anything till the next time. Am I angry ? Your damn right I am and I have every right to be. This is their father who CHOOSES to ignore court orders and not help in any way support his children. He also chooses to ignore his children. Doesn't call them, doesn't bother with visitation and he asked during the divorce to terminate his parental rights in exchange for not supporting them. My only point to any of this is none of us know the entire background of each other and what has brought us here. None of us knows what we have been through and shouldn't case judgment on posters.
My opinion regarding jail time for a non paying parent --- there are many chances before jail time is ever considered. If someone gets to that point, there has to be some type of consequence. It's not debtors jail, it's a consequence of ignoring a court order and they certainly did have due process before it got to that point. Jail time isn't used for someone making partial payments or paying what they can in this bad economy, it is used for people who willingly avoid the order.
And about two families vs one and what children think...I can only tell you what my son said the other night....We were discussing Christmas planning and I said maybe their Dad would want to spend time with them at their grandparents...My 14 old replied "I dont' want to go see them for the holidays, I want to spend Christmas with my family, my REAL family." He meant he wanted to spend the holidays with my side of the family. Don't forget his father's side of the family hasn't called or bothered with the kids in four years....so you see, it's all based on what you have gone through. I would never tell him he was wrong for feeling that way but I may if I didn't know the whole story.
Topic: visitation with no child support? (Read 7464 times)