visitation with no child support?

[Stats]

Stats

[lwyphan]

My ex husband hasn't paid me any child support in months.  I live in Kentucky and he lives in Ohio.  There is a warrant for him in Kentucky for non-support.  He has visitation every other weekend.  Can I deny him visitation due to this outstanding warrant or because he has not paid his support?  Please email me your responses to lwyphan@roadrunner.com
 

[Giggles]

NO...NO...NO!!!  Visitation and Child Support are SEPERATE!!!!
 
You withhold visistation and he can get YOU on contempt of court for VIOLATING the visitation agreement.
 
Now on the other hand, YOU CAN get him on contempt of court for failure to pay support....some questions:
 
1.  Is the order through Child Support Enforcement?
 
2.  If not...WHY?
 
3.  Do you know the circumstances behind the failure to pay?  There was a time where my DD's father couldn't pay because he had lost his job.   Is there a pending downward modification for this kind of circumstance?  Was his wages garnished?  Has he had a cut in pay?  Is the support amount TOO much? 
 
4.  How far in arrears is he?  My DD's father is almost $12K in arrears and I know of other's who's arrears are much larger sums (in the $50-100K range...ouch).

[Momfortwo]

Visitation and child support are two separate issues.  If you withhold visitation, you can be held in contempt of court.   Don't go there. 
 
You want clean hands for your contempt motion agianst your ex for his failure to comply with a court order. 
 
File a contempt motion asking that he pays all arrears and that the child support is automatically garnished from his wages. 
 
The circumstances behind why he isn't paying is irrelevant.  What is relevant is that he isn't paying what is court ordered. 
 
 

[Momfortwo]

3.  Do you know the circumstances behind the failure to pay?  There was a time where my DD's father couldn't pay because he had lost his job.   Is there a pending downward modification for this kind of circumstance?  Was his wages garnished?  Has he had a cut in pay?  Is the support amount TOO much? 

 
I would venture to guess that the NCP thinks the support amount is too much. 
 
BTW, circumstances are irrelevant.  If there was a change of circumstances on the NCP's part, the onus is on the NCP to file for a downward mod.  And the NCP is still obligated to pay the court ordered amount, even if there is a pending mod. 

[lwyphan]

1.  it IS set up through child support enforcement. 
2.  He will not get/keep a job. 
3.  He will not file to have the amount decreased.......because it makes him feel like less of a man, i guess.  Last time we went to court, they raised his support.  When the judge asked him if he was comfortable with the increase and if he thought he could afford it, he replied "Oh, I could afford way more than that!"  (He's a complete moron people).
4.  Child Support Enforcement can not advance my case until he is arrested.  He has an outstanding warrant, and that's as far as they can take it until he is arrested.
 
He picks our daughter up every other weekend.  I COULD call the sheriff's department and have him arrested when he picks her up, or drops her off.  I was trying to avoid that because I did not want our daughter to have to see him get arrested...... 

[ocean]

Call the sheriff and see if they will come to the next pick-up. Have your child stay with someone else so they don't see it.
Do you know where he lives or hangs out that you can tell them so it is not done at your house?

[MixedBag]

I agree -- don't deny time.
 
BUT -- if you're truly frustrated, I'd call the sheriff.
 
But I also believe you'll have problems if he needs to be transported OVER a state line to the county with jurisdiction.

[Giggles]

Call the sheriff and see if they will come to the next pick-up. Have your child stay with someone else so they don't see it.

 
I would actually wait until "drop-off" that way they can nab him on his way out of town and the child is none the wiser and there are less questions as to why Daddy isn't there that weekend???
 
I also disagree with Mom42 the circumstances are quite relevant.  I'm of the opinion that I would rather try and figure out a way of dealing with the issues (non-payment) and try to get SOME $$ versus throwing the guy in jail thereby guaranteeing NO MONEY!!

[Momfortwo]

Call the sheriff and see if they will come to the next pick-up. Have your child stay with someone else so they don't see it.

I would actually wait until "drop-off" that way they can nab him on his way out of town and the child is none the wiser and there are less questions as to why Daddy isn't there that weekend???

I also disagree with Mom42 the circumstances are quite relevant.  I'm of the opinion that I would rather try and figure out a way of dealing with the issues (non-payment) and try to get SOME $$ versus throwing the guy in jail thereby guaranteeing NO MONEY!!

 
As opposed to him being out of jail and not paying?
Sorry that argument doesn't hold water.  For the simple reason that if he was paying his child support, he wouldn't have ended up in jail. 
 
It isn't up to the original poster to figure out his issues.  If he has a problem with the amount or lost a job, the onus is on HIM to file for a modification.  Not her. 
 
Which, according the original poster, this guy is choosing not to do. 
 
BTW, there are ncp's who only pay some of their child support but not all of the court ordered child support.  This guy isn't paying anything.  At all.  His circumstances are irrelevant, his actions are.  And one of them is not filing for a modification.
 
 

[Giggles]

Call the sheriff and see if they will come to the next pick-up. Have your child stay with someone else so they don't see it.

I would actually wait until "drop-off" that way they can nab him on his way out of town and the child is none the wiser and there are less questions as to why Daddy isn't there that weekend???

I also disagree with Mom42 the circumstances are quite relevant.  I'm of the opinion that I would rather try and figure out a way of dealing with the issues (non-payment) and try to get SOME $$ versus throwing the guy in jail thereby guaranteeing NO MONEY!!

As opposed to him being out of jail and not paying?
Sorry that argument doesn't hold water.  For the simple reason that if he was paying his child support, he wouldn't have ended up in jail. 

It isn't up to the original poster to figure out his issues.  If he has a problem with the amount or lost a job, the onus is on HIM to file for a modification.  Not her. 

Which, according the original poster, this guy is choosing not to do. 

BTW, there are ncp's who only pay some of their child support but not all of the court ordered child support.  This guy isn't paying anything.  At all.  His circumstances are irrelevant, his actions are.  And one of them is not filing for a modification.

 
You are quite correct that the onus is on HIM...and I know quite well there are NCP's who only pay part of their Court Ordered CS...I have one of those!!  I could have had my DD's father thrown in jail for not paying...he was up to nearly $20K in arrears, they suspended his DL and had a warrent out for his arrest as well.  I told him flat out, if you don't start paying SOMETHING they WILL throw you in jail.  He realized that was true and now I do get a bit here and a bit there, sometimes the whole amount but most times about 1/2 of what he should be paying.  My consolation is that CS arrears never go away...so eventually it will get paid.  I've gotten a few surprises where the state seized some of his assets...I once received a check for $7600!!

[ocean]

Not mom's problem that he has a warrant out for his arrest. At this point IF there is an active warrant out, he should not be driving the child anywhere. If he gets pulled over, he will be arrested and child will be taken from him anyway. Call the local sheriff and make sure they can do something about it, then let dad deal with it. By putting him in jail, may wake him up to start paying. Not mom's responsibility to deal with dad and find a way to get him to pay.

[MixedBag]

You know -- when folks are in jail or in prison, they can participate in work-release programs and then the CS will get paid.
 
I'm on the side of not sending a parent to jail for any infraction....even contempt for missed time, there are other ways to make them feel their mistakes.

[eagleeyefam]

I guess you have to ask yourself what's more important-Your child having a relationship with their father or a monthly check.

[ocean]

Not really...the warrant was made from the state for non-payment. It will catch up to him sooner or later. I would rather make sure the child was not with him when it happens (not deny visitation, but let him deal with the arrest, next times he comes to pick up child, child goes...).  Is it better for mom to send child and wonder if the sheriff office will call her to come get child because dad was arrested?

I also think that the laws need to change and work out a better system of dealing with non-payment BUT this is what this mother is dealing with now...

[Momfortwo]

I guess you have to ask yourself what's more important-Your child having a relationship with their father or a monthly check.

 
The flip side for the NCP:
 
Which one is more important, the kid or the money?  Because everytime the NCP chooses not to pay child support especially if they are paying none), they are choosing money over their kids. 
 
Sorry, but BOTH are equally important.   The kid needs a place to live.  The kid needs heat and light, the kid needs food, the kid needs clothes.