Paying CS even though she has dumped the kids at grandparents to live?

[Stats]

Stats

[trizy]

So my husband's ex got custody of the kids just to get the child support money.  Everyone knew she was going to do that.  Now she has dumped the kids off on my husbands parents, where they live, and only sees them when it is convenient to her.  She quit her job and is living off welfare and child support from the kids, but the kids do not live with her.  Exactly her plan all along.
 
We called a lawyer and all she said is that it happens all the time, that children can be used for income and then just have the kids live somewhere else.  That does not seem right.  Is there anything we can do about this?
 
Thanks!

[CuriousMom]

From what I've read in the other threads, probably right now there is nothing you can do because the custody decision is so new.  You can't dictate what the other parent does with the children during their time unless they are in an extremely harmful situation.  Then you could push the issue. 
 
Do you have ROFR in your custody agreement?  If it's a long period of time see if you can have it modified to a shorter period, and if she doesn't adhere to the order then she is in comtempt.
 
I would document every time it happens and down the road file for a modification for more parenting time.  Also, if your husband would like to spend more time with them and she denies additional visitation, document this so you can show at a later time that you have tried to have more contact and she has refused. 
 
If they are your husband's parents hopefully your husband would have better access to them anyway.

[trizy]

Thank you!  But this really isn't too new.  She has had the kids since September of 2008.  She started leaving the kids with the grandparents full time in December 2008.  So it's been about 9 months.  Does that make a difference?

[CuriousMom]

I would file for a modification if it's been going on that long.  I've read more often than not it's based more on a 12 month period but you're close enough.  If your attorney doesn't want to do it for you, find one who will or try and do it yourself. 

[grtdaddy]

So my husband's ex got custody of the kids just to get the child support money.  Everyone knew she was going to do that.  Now she has dumped the kids off on my husbands parents, where they live, and only sees them when it is convenient to her.  She quit her job and is living off welfare and child support from the kids, but the kids do not live with her.  Exactly her plan all along.

We called a lawyer and all she said is that it happens all the time, that children can be used for income and then just have the kids live somewhere else.  That does not seem right.  Is there anything we can do about this?

Thanks!

how can she be getting welfare and child support? is the support paid through an agency? or is it directly handed to her? if you can prove she is getting it and she is not claiming it, she will be in serious trouble, which i would think could warrant a custody modification.

[Davy]

I must have missed something in this thread.  Seems to be the major issue is that the CP has abandoned the kids and since the gp's have no custodial rights the parent could just go there and retrieve the kids and then seek custody modification.
 
Of course, the gp's could very well be considered for legal custody if neither parent can be considered fit. 
 
Absolutely, under no circumstance, should there be any tolerance for the mother to use any portion of  CS for her own welfare.

[armycoppertop]

After nine months I would say that the grandparents need to make a sworn statement that they have been caring for this child full time and you need to go after custody. No way in HECK should BM be getting child support for the kids when she is not actually exercising custody of them. I could see if she was giving the child support to the grandparents, since they have the kids, but even then I would say go after custody because the grandparents should not have them if the father is willing to take them and is fit!

[nnote]

I don't understand how someone got custody just to get child support.

[Giggles]

I don't understand how someone got custody just to get child support.

 
Are you serious??  I would say about half if not more BM's fight for custody just to get the support money.  I had one X-bf who's BM said it flat out...he was trying for 50/50 and she said "But then I wouldn't get full child support"....

[nnote]

Giggles,
What I don't understand is how someone could WIN a custody case just to get child support. It's that I don't understand how a judge doesn't see through that. I don't understand how someone's only interest in a child is the support that comes with it.
I know it happens. It's just makes me sick.

[Giggles]

Giggles,
What I don't understand is how someone could WIN a custody case just to get child support. It's that I don't understand how a judge doesn't see through that. I don't understand how someone's only interest in a child is the support that comes with it.
I know it happens. It's just makes me sick.

 
Well...not only are there sucky BM's (out for just the money) There are still judges out there that think only the mothers should get custody so they turn a blind eye on anything that suggests otherwise.  My X-BF PROVED to the judge that the BM had been doing drugs, got in an accident while on a drug run with the child in the car, no car seat...but still SHE got custody???  Makes you wonder huh???

[MrCustodyCoach]

From what I've read in the other threads, probably right now there is nothing you can do because the custody decision is so new.  You can't dictate what the other parent does with the children during their time unless they are in an extremely harmful situation.  Then you could push the issue. 

What?  We're talking about child abandonment here.  I would have filed for a modification after about 2-weeks regardless of when the last modification was.  These are extraordinary circumstances and to have waiting NINE MONTHS to do something about it may actually end up looking worse than it would have had they moved sooner.

They should be filing yesterday.