terminatin parental rights

[Stats]

Stats

[hthrdwn]

My husband has had custody of his sons for 8 years.  We have been together for 3.5 years.  We are a family of 7. 
 
The boys mother has been incarcerated the entire time for a willful injury charge.(she stabbed another woman several times.) 
 
His family has told me numerous times she never wanted the second child and HE wants nothing to do with her. 
 
The oldest boy has learning disabilities and has recently told his counselor that he was punched so hard by moms previous boyfriend he had to go to the ER.  He has also talked about being molested by different men in moms life.
 
She has other charges as well Drugs, forgery, identy theft. etc.
 
How do we go about terminating her rights?

[Kitty C.]

You would need to talk to an atty., but I think what you would need is an offer for you to adopt.  Most courts aren't willing to completely sever parental rights unless there's abuse that's been proven in court or a step-parent is willing to adopt and take over financial responsibility.  Sometimes the courts will terminate a parent's rights, but still make them financially responsible, so even if they have no right to see the child, they still have to pay support.  If she's incarcerated, she can't pay anything anyway.  Any chance of her getting out any time soon?

[lizzy]

So is that the only way to get termination of rights? The parent has to be a felon or something? What if the other parents new husband wants to adopt the kids? And the absent parent doesn't pay support when he should, only gets it when he gets unemployment? There was abuse in the past, but can't prove it, and says things that are hurtful to the children. I know I should consult an attorney, and I've read the list of things that can have a parents rights terminated, but their not very clear.

[sillystring]

Ok, I thought you were talking about the boys' mother? But now you are saying he?

You say he only pays when he gets unemployment, so if he's not working and not receiving UE, how do you expect him to pay? Not paying CS is not a reason to terminate someone's rights.

Have you asked the other parent if they would be willing to let your husband or you (whoever is not the bio parent since your posts have conflicting info) adopt the child?  If they are not seeing the child nor paying support, they don't really have a reason to say no.  Especially when it will negate their CS obligation.  I'm sure they'd probably rather give up their rights then be thrown in jail for not paying.

It is very difficult to INvoluntarily terminate someone's rights.  Courts do not take that lightly.

Heck, it's hard enough to VOLUNTARILY terminate someone's rights.  Most courts won't let you unless there is someone else willing to adopt.

[Kitty C.]

There's two different posters here, the first is about termination of mother's rights and the second is termination of father's rights.  Either way, if the parent in question doesn't want to willingly give up their rights (and there is no step-parent available to adopt), then about the only what you can get termination of rights is for the courts to claim the parent unfit and take the parent's rights away.  Lack of support, not seeing the child, and felony convictions may not be enough........the court has to deem the parent unfit, period.
 
But usually the only way a parent can willingly give up their rights is if there is a step-parent willing and able to adopt (so the state doesn't become responsible for part of the care of the child) and the court would have to agree to it.

[MixedBag]

I'd have to second what Kitty says...
 
I think that both of these folks need to learn what their state's laws say on the subject -- 50 states, many different answers.
 
None of us here are attorneys and can say specifically what it takes and how to move forward.
 
 

[lizzy]

Im sorry I wasn't clear about all this. Yes I have read the reasons for termination of parental rights in my state, but they are confusing. Also, I don't want his rights terminated because he doesn't pay or doesn't see them, that i do know won't get his rights terminated. Like I said before, he did things to my oldest daughter ( whom is not his), but detective says her word against his. HE is a vile, disgusting man because of that. Yes my husband would be willing to adopt, and I have brought it up to the BF about it giving up his rights and he said he won't do it. So I guess he wants to go to jail for back support, i don't know. All I'm saying is the reasons for termination are unclear. One reason states, if the parent has not contact with the children for at least 6 months is abandonment. I find that hard to believe that they would terminate someones rights for just that. My son complains that his BF always yells at them, is paranoid, can't wait for them to go home, and is starting to treat my son like he did my oldest daughter. He has told me he hates his BF. I try to tell him he shouldn't talk like that about him, but it doesn't matter. I guess I'm just venting about all this because I'm frustrated about all of it. I know none of you are lawyers, just wanted to know if anyone went through anything like this or has read anything, thats all.

[Kitty C.]

'One reason states, if the parent has not contact with the children for at least 6 months is abandonment.'
 
If the court so chooses (and there are possibly other mitigating factors), the court can obviously terminate parental rights for abandonment after 6 months, if that is a law in your state.  I seriously doubt they would do it on that one factor alone, though.
 
How you feel about the father has nothing to do with it...........it's only what can be proved in court.  But if you are concerned about your son's welfare while he's with his father, then you need to set up some guidelines with him so that he has a way out if he feels his safety is being theratened, like calling 911, running out of the house and going to a neighbor to call 911, whatever would work for him.

[lizzy]

I totally agree with that, and I have set guidlines and told him what to do if he feels its a bad situation. He also has to look out for his little sister. I would send him with a cell phone, but the last time I let my exhusband borrow the stroller that I paid for, he won't give it back, claims he paid for it while we were married. Called the cops and they told me it was a civil matter. So I don't want to send my son with a cell phone because if he takes that away from him and claims the same thing, even though we've been divorced 2 years, I'll have to take him to court, cuz it's a civil matter. The laws in that county are extremely screwed up. The county I live in now is totally different. They actually enforce things in this county. But ya, I do set guidelines with my son, and do document everything

[gemini3]

hthrdwn - I would approach the mother with the request.  If she isn't willing it could be very difficult to do.
 
If she is unwilling, I would go back to court and ask for supervised visitation when she gets out.  Her violent and unpredictable behavior is just cause for supervised visitation.  I don't think you'll have a difficult time getting it.

[LTSM]

Look up your state statutes.  They generally have very specific guidelines about the TPR.  And most states will not TPR when there is not another parent married to the BP who is willing to adopt.   

The one thing our atty told us is that when the CP petitions to TPR, the state looks closely to see that it's not the CP who is looking to push out the NCP.  If the NCP petitions, they look to see that the parent is not looking to evade CS.  They are pretty particular about it.   Unfortunately, the state also looks at it from the POV as to whether they, the state, will be called upon to help support the child.  I know this sounds so horrible, but this was the reality of what our atty told us.   

And from my personal POV - while SDs mom didn't actually petition, she did do all in her power to make her new DH "Daddy".  Now, the man that SD was told to call Daddy most of her life is not her daddy anymore - like my DH, he is the enemy.  So my SD has been alienated from her real father, and turned against her substitute father.  Where does that leave my SD?   

To the OP, I think you may have enough legal ammunition to show why you are a better mom than the BM.  But I still think you need to proceed cautiously.
To the other PP, NCP may be a POS, but read your state's laws carefully, and then talk to an atty to see how the family courts really handle these types of requests.