BIG PROBLEMS

[john5739]

My mother was an alcoholic and a drug abuser, so I do know what their life style will be like with a drug addict.  I would have chosen my mother any day over being molested.  Have you ever talked to people who have been through the foster care system?  Many foster families have just as many, if not worse problems than the bio-parents.

This mother is in a viscious cycle.  If she could get into a program and get some help she may be able to get her children back and that in and of itself might help her stay sober rather than resort to drugs due to hopelessness.

[Indigo Mom]

-----My mother was an alcoholic and a drug abuser, so I do know what their life style will be like with a drug addict. -----

I'm VERY sorry for this...you must have had a scary childhood.  I wouldn't wish that on anyone.  My son went through 6 years of Hell with a cocaine and then crack addict.  I've seen what it did to my child and is still doing to my child.  He has some demons inside of him, this I know.

-----I would have chosen my mother any day over being molested. -----

I would have chosen the safety of someone elses arms over both of those.

-----Have you ever talked to people who have been through the foster care system? Many foster families have just as many, if not worse problems than the bio-parents.-----

Yes, I have.  I've also read the Dave Pelzer series of books about his childhood.  I know there are foster families who are brutal, but there are MANY who aren't.  You can't knock foster care because of a few problems when there are 3 HUGE ones in the kids families right now.  2 drug addicts and a possible child molester.  Plus, if the mother was truly serious about cleaning up, they wouldn't be in the "system" too long, would they?

-----This mother is in a viscious cycle. If she could get into a program and get some help she may be able to get her children back and that in and of itself might help her stay sober rather than resort to drugs due to hopelessness.-----

I agree...and that's what I said in my first post.  However, I don't believe people resort to drugs due to "hopelessness".  

[Indigo Mom]

-----I like to think that not all people are alike and that everyone has the capacity for change if they truly desire it. -----

"if they truly desire it".  I agree.  Going after the drug addicted father and possibly child molesting grandfather is not "truly desiring change" unless she's willing to clean up her own act first.  

-----My focus was on this mother trying to help her children, which is why she posted. She wasn't looking for people to tell her that she is a hopeless case. -----

Everyone who posted was trying to help her.  You HAVE to face the facts...she's a speed user.  First things first?  Seek help.  Read my first post....I said she should check herself into the nearest inpatient clinic.  You can 't help her get her children unless you help her seek help.  What's wrong with telling her to clean up and remain clean?

-----I'm sure her children would benefit greatly from her being encouraged to stay sober rather than having her be told she's a hopeless case. -----

No one said she's hopeless.  Both peanutsdad and myself have suggested she get help for her problems...enabling an addict is doing no good.  Straight up telling them what they need to do FOR their children is good.  

[Peanutsdad]

>My mother was an alcoholic and a drug abuser, so I do know
>what their life style will be like with a drug addict.  I
>would have chosen my mother any day over being molested.

Bully for you. I would prefer children be safe any day, and whether its a child molester, or a drug addict, they aint safe.



  Have
>you ever talked to people who have been through the foster
>care system?  Many foster families have just as many, if not
>worse problems than the bio-parents.

I've spoken to many foster parents, in fact, I KNOW many. Where are you getting your information concerning foster families? The local fiction bookstore? As a matter of fact, I testified for a foster couple to obtain custody of 2 children they adopted from crack addict families. Were these contested? yup,, the state removed the children for their own safety.
>
>This mother is in a viscious cycle.  If she could get into a
>program and get some help she may be able to get her children
>back and that in and of itself might help her stay sober
>rather than resort to drugs due to hopelessness.

This is the kind of simpering pandering BS that has placed children back into unsafe homes time and again. Tell you what, why dont YOU take this mother into YOUR home and help rehab her. After you've had everything of value stolen and pawned, come back and tell us how humanitarian you feel. ;)

[john5739]

Did the comment "bully for you" help to alleviate any of that anger you are experiencing?  Was it really necessary?

We live in different states.  The foster care system is a state and county based system, so it will not be the same everywhere.  In my state the foster care system is a wreck.  

Obviously, you've had a lot of experiences in life and have a lot to offer on these boards, but it might serve people better if you realized that there is more than one way to think of everything.  You don't have to become angry and demeaning when someone doesn't agree with you 100%.  Maybe I too have something to offer here and I don't think you need to go on the attack when I don't agree with everything you write.

The type of anger you display is what will drive people away from father's rights causes.  Fifty-something percent of the world's population is women, don't you think it might be more beneficial to men who are being treated unfairly by the courts to have some of these women advocating along side of you?

[Peanutsdad]

LOL,  anger? Not one bit . More like exacerbation at another head in the clouds liberal. I dont know what state you are in, but if the foster system there is worse than leaving children with addicts and child molesters it certainly isnt a state I have any desire to visit nor stay in.

Please tell us what horrible state this is so we all can avoid it like the plague. Consider it a public service to help us all on that ;)

As far as anyone standing by my side advocating my rights as a parent or any other parent for that matter. My stance is and always has been, equal access for fit parents. The rights of a child to be raised equally by same.
Where I get off the bus is unfit parents or parents who place their children in danger.

I never asked you to agree with me, I stated my opinion, as did you. I can offer a mountain of evidense to support my opinion, can you?

I am certainly glad to know that my actions and posts will result in driving people away from fathers rights,, man,, what a burden, what an awesome power I must have. Gee, thanx, you made my day ;)

[Peanutsdad]

Oh, btw John,

If we are done here, perhaps we can both get to the business of helping posters find answers.

[john5739]

Did it ever occur to you that no one has all of the answers?  Maybe some "answers" even harm people?


"BTW," now that's an adult comment!  

I feel for anyone who walks into the ER where you work and gets this kind of treatment due to your judgemental attitudes.  Please tell me you're not directly involved with patient treatment?

[Peanutsdad]

>Did it ever occur to you that no one has all of the answers?
>Maybe some "answers" even harm people?

Yup, it occurs to me each time I see a liberal post .
>
>
>"BTW," now that's an adult comment!  

huh? Ok, sue me for using internet shorthand.
>
>I feel for anyone who walks into the ER where you work and
>gets this kind of treatment due to your judgemental attitudes.
> Please tell me you're not directly involved with patient
>treatment?

Ok, so now I provide lousy care because I believe children shouldnt go to drug addicts,,, go figure.
What I find interesting, is you never answered the question of why these kids should stay with drug addicts instead of a foster family. Nor did you reveal the state you are from where the foster system is worse than leaving children with addicts and child molesters.
>
>

[Peanutsdad]

Just as a side note here John,, have you ever seen a crack baby?? Have you ever held them while they shake and tremor and cry inconsolably?

Have you ever seen a baby go thru withdrawal from heroin? How about a kid born with FAS? (Fetal alcohol syndrome). It isnt pretty. Our hospital delivers over 16000 babies a year and approximately 20% are born drug addicted or messed up from the drug and alcohol abuse.


Not long ago, I posted a story about a junkie. He died due to his addiction,, BUT, I had quite a bit of respect for him. Simply because he CHOSE to do the right thing concerning his children BECAUSE of his addiction.