"I dont mind paying support"

[reagantrooper]

"I dont mind paying support" Why do I read this statement so much?

I am not afraid to say it, I dispise sending one red sent of "child support" to my PBFH of an X. I hate it with a passion.

I hate the fact that my goverment takes my money and gives it to another adult without one iota of accountability.

I hate that my money gets taken from me and given to another adult under the guise that is is for my child. When I know damn well that these funds DO NOT go %100 to my Daughter.

Its not fucking rocket science to do the math and see the results.

Everytime I buy my girl a new pair of shoes, a new bra,new socks, a brush, deoderant, school supply ETC ETC ETC because she needs them. Even know that "CHILD SUPPORT" is taken from me each and EVERY pay check.

Is it some sort of guilt thing that some feel they have to say "I dont mind paying support" ?

Well DAMIT I do mind paying "child support" every dime of it. Its slavery I tell you, SLAVERY!

end of rant!

[joni]

You read mine and my DH's mind, brother.

Food for thought.....we stopped buying anything for the child.  Saved on alot of frustration and the Ex took advantage that we would do this.  When we stopped, it forced her to buy more responsibly for the child.  

[wendl]

:)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[wendl]

Custodial Parents had to show REAL PROOF of what cs is spent on, like making them use the cs debit card and sending the paying parent the statement at the end of the month THEN we would know what the money was spent on.

If my ex ever asked me what I spent cs on I could give him receipts that is IF he paid his cs, (now his order is not that much)the last check for $45 in March went towards new shoes for my son, I purchased the baseball cleats, shirt and other stuff.

I know the feeling but I really won't go into details due to FAT ASS lurkers.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[richiejay]

I hated paying my ex when my boy was young....My ex and I had the same income and we spent exactly 50% of the time caring for him. But the legal paper said she had "physical custody"....and she would not hesitate to call her lawyer if I was ONE day late.   Several years later and tens of thousand of lawyer fees later...she now pays me (of course it is less than what I paid her)...and I just know it drives her nuts for her to pay me money every week.    The good news for you is that if you are buying bras...you are looking at the tail end of the whole mess.  And take comfort that it will piss her off something fierce that some day the gravy train won't be there for her.  IT WILL END! Hang in there...

[raf]

Just sent in my last CS payment! Don't know how the ex is going to make the monthly payments on her 3rd new car since we split 5 years ago, or the new boat, or the new camper, or the latest, the new bigass screen TV.
 
But hey, not my problem :)

Of course when I went back to KY for son's HS grad last  month, he needed clothes to wear to graduation, a haircut, etc. So Dad ponied up for those just as Mom planned.  Oh and by the way, son didn't actually receive diploma at the ceremony since Mom had never paid the $50 per year high school book fee. I guess she was hoping to guilt me into paying that too. No such luck.

But now for the happy dance!!!!!!!!!

[KAT]

Last involuntary servitude payment huh? That really must be a wondeful feeling! YIPPEEEE!!!!!

100 bottles of beer...wonder how the ex is going to fill up that huge beer gut in 100 days? I resent ever last dime we ever sent that moon pie faced hag. She gets tanned every single day, her hair done, her nails done...but then I guess she has too what with being so obese, so wrinkled, so saggy & just generally so ugly it's the only thing she has left (I think her soul is showing). Christ the woman looks like she's melting. She really reminds me of that turd in Weird Science. I wonder how many packages of Ding-Dongs, Ho-Ho's & Big New Yorker pizza's Mr. KAT's 2k of monthly support purchased her over the last 4 years...about 105k worth I'd imagine. I hate that woman; she makes me want to puke. I have a hard time even putting a face on the spawn of the devil anymore she is just pure evil. She doesn't work, has never worked. She has lived off the backs of others including her own family her entire life. Right now she’s expecting a few thousand from yet another slip/fall…this will be lawsuit #7 and that’s only in the state of Virginia. Never bought a loaf of bread or a gallon of milk during the 7 years Mr. KAT had custody. Never paid a dime of the $20 per week she was ordered to….but the judge decided she was indigent so she didn’t have to pay the arrears anyway.

That's another thing about child support. How many times do you hear the CP (usually the woman) whining that they need to increase support or they aren't getting support when yet they aren't financially supporting the children either. And NO the spouses income doesn't count nor should it be used as an excuse not to support your own children. The laws need to be changed. Children take ALOT of work on a daily basis. ALOT OF WORK. If you are unable to work then you can't parent your children effectively either. Therefore custody needs to be changed to the parent who WILL work & financially support them. It really is that simple. Think of what it will do to the welfare rolls if women (mostly) aren't getting custody because they aren't working...oh crap, what a trap huh? Custody = work = no free ride...which way to go, oh, oh, what to do!

KAT

[flewwellin]

$$$   83,148.00  is what we will have paid the ex wife for child support after my step son turns 18 years old.  THat is if it doesn't go up over the years. Yeah it irritates us as well that the child support money doesn't go to the kids.  The first check she got went to a vacation to PA with her boyfriend at the time.  Guess where the kids were??  WITH US!  She asked us to watch them so she could have some time to herself.  She was gone for 7 days.  Must've been a nice vacation.  Yeah we don't like paying child suppor either.

[srgraumenz]

Exactly......I've been single all of my life up until last september when i married my DH.....I took care of myself....i put myself through college working, didn't take out any school loans and graduated with money in my savings.....it can be done......I didn't have anyone providing for me financially except myself....Novel concept, huh???   Well now my husband's X is trying to use my financial success to obtain more money from my husband.....the first letter came 6 days after our honeymoon than the petition to modify 5 weeks later.....with him going to court 2 1/2 months after our wedding....and it still is dragging on.....he was first asked to produce his 2004 tax return...which he did(we filed separately and have NO joint accts nor assets).  Than that wasn't good enough because it clearly showed NO increase of income....so now he has to fill out paperwork showing his monthly income,expenses,debt, and assets.  Which by the way he assumed ALL of the debt at the time of the divorce and she came out debt free with a mini van that he STILL has a $8K loan on......her petition to modify came 10 months after the original court order was approved and her attorney and herself were the ones that drew it all up in the first place.....
By the time my husband's kids are 18, he will have paid his X over $182000 in CS.   AND that is only if the judge doesn't raise it in the next couple of months....He is currently paying the 32% that the state of Illinois requires and after receiving her monthly expense sheet he pays 100% of the kids expenses and 1/2 of the monthly rent.....   She doesn't even make enough to support herself but YET she is given physical custody?????   There has to be a way that those of us on this site can form some type of coalition to get these ludricous laws changed!!   If you are not phyically capable to care for yourself both financially and emotionally than you are NOT fit to be parenting.  I know everyone keeps saying they don't look at the custodial parents income but that has to change....and some states do look at it....i know Iowa does....
But obviously the state of illinois has major problems with their judicial system in the first place.  His X is only working 21 hrs a week but yet she has 2 kids that can stay home alone and all 3 kids are in school full time 9 months out of the yr and in school for 6 to 8 hrs a day but yet we only have to work 21 hrs a week and she receives child care money via CHASI so she doesn't pay the price that my husband and I would have to pay if we ever get to have kids.....Why do i have to work full time?????  Oh yea to pay the bills....