Several points for both of you to consider;
1. If an electronic file rejects you do to the use of social, you can file a paper return with all socials and just wait a little longer, if you have to do the efile, you should remove the questioned social, efile, then file a 1040x with all socials with the reasons stated and the docs that you are entitled to this (we did this when CP claimed child in wrong year, they gave us the credit and are now going after CP for ill gotten refund) If you file the original paper return with all socials then you do run the option of being questioned later on, make sure all your ducks are in a row but you do have options to get around this, i would suggest, if you had the right in 2002 to claim the child to file a 1040x immediately, they can take about 12 weeks to process and you want to get it in before the feb-april rush starts.
http://www.irs.gov has the forms to download to do this, hey what is a stamp and paper compared to the extra refund you were entitled to?
2. A 2003 irs case promted new stats/ re: unmarried parents, wherein never married parents with children, the CP is SUPPOSED to file the 8332 with their tax return giving NCP the right to file, however, I am awaiting their response for never married NCP who has rights previously explained in FJ of paternity