Question.....What's your background?

[MixedBag]

I was following one of olanna's posts....and have to admit, I'm confused.
(not the first time and won't be the last)

So really to all of you?

What's your background?  I suggest changing your "signature block" to include a brief version of this information because it usually helps understand where you're coming from when "we" forget your details.

For me a short bio:

Marriage/Divorce #1 1981-1990, divorced in England, CP to two daughters (19 and 16 now)

Marriage/Divorce #2 1990-1996, divorced in WV, NCP to one son (11 now)

Marriage#3 to DH now since 1999

DH's first marriage lasted 14+(?) years -- filed in 1997.  Three children.  OSD move back with dad in 2001, MSD in 2002 --- hence CP-Step-mom.  Both are emancipated now.  That leaves his son(11) and I'm the NCP-step-mom to him.

1 granddaughter, and 1 step-grandson from OSD.

4 dogs.....all pound puppies.

[Gecko]

LOL...are you sure you want to know?

"Kiddy" Relationship - I was 18, he was 20 and when I got pregnant, he ran like a chicken with its head cut off.  I gave child up for adoption.*

* - I recently reconnected with my son.

Marriage/Divorce - 1981 - 1992, NCP* to three children.

* - I started out as CP, but couldn't provide financially for the children (I had been a SAHM and couldn't find decent employment), so I approached my ex about taking the kids and became the NCP.

Post-Divorce Relationship - We met four months after my husband left and while there were some good times, it was a BIG mistake and only lasted about six months.

Adult Relationship #1 - 1994 - 1995, with NCP of 3.  Relationship ended shortly after his summer parenting time ended.  I liked his kids, but after watching how he treated them, I didn't want him around mine.  He also resented any time or money I spent with/on my children.

Adult Relationship #2 - 1996 - 2000, with NCP of 2.  Relationship ended due to Domestic Violence.  The hardest part was walking away from his kids.  His youngest wasn't even two years old when we got together and so I was a big part of his life.  He also resented any money I spent on my children since it was less I could spend on his or the house since his "share" of the bills went up his nose.

Adult Relationship #3 - 2002 - current*, with SO** of 18 year old college boy who just moved in with us.  Since nobody pays CS anymore (mom just deposits money into son's checking account), I think CP/NCP designations are moot.

* - We are engaged and were planning on getting married this year, but between both of our mothers passing, his father's illness, two graduations and his son moving in, we have decided to delay it until some time next year.

** - SO was married for 18 years.  He, his now ex-wife and I all went to high school together and so actually they were together for about 22 years.  

1 cat who is a royal pain in the butt to serve.

[olanna]

Married twice, divorced twice...

Three children from marriage number one...

One child from marriage number two....

I was CP for all three children from my first marriage...My then husband was having an affair while we were married and is now married to that woman...I was pregnant with my third child, the one he has custody of now, when we divorced.

My ex sued for custody when the third child was 11 years old. When I ran out of money to fight him, I lost custody.

During the custody battle, my second husband disappeared to meet his online gf about three weeks after I had to send my son to his Dad on the east coast.

We divorced and I am CP of our son. We actually get along quite well now and coparent very well together.

I am single and plan on staying single for the rest of my natural life.  My experience with marriage and relationships has been far less than wonderful, and I have no intention of putting myself through anything like it again.....

I have been single since 1999.

[MixedBag]

So are your three children older and either emancipated or almost there?

[MixedBag]

You too -- are your children older and emancipated now and the last one is getting close?

I know one is because you posted about her upcoming wedding.

[olanna]

YeS! My oldest children are 25 and 23! The 23 year old graduated from college this year, built a house and is now getting married..

Sad to say, she is talking of eloping because of the family tension her father has created.  

My two youngest are 15 and 9....

;)

[MissouriGal]

OK, here we go. :)

Got with ex 1991. Married 1992. 3 children... girl, age 12. Boy, age 11, girl age 10.

Separated from ex March of 2000. He actually left me and the children.

He came and took children April 2000.

Lost everything as I was a SAHM with no job, no vehicle, and living out in the sticks. Moved in with my dad and brother in his small 2 BR house May 2000. (Dad lived 100 miles away.) Got a job as a waitress and moved into a motel.

Ex filed for divorce in 2002. He'd had the children all this time (since 2000), and I got them on weekends and for the summer. WE decided it was in our children's best interest to remain with him. I was struggling, not able to provide for them, and I felt they needed to be with him in a stable environment. Ex was granted primary physical custody of all 3 children, and we had joint legal custody.

Divorce final 9/2002.

2003 I found out disturbing news from school officials about the welfare of my children. Decided to go for custody. All 3 children came to live with me in May 2003. In December 2003, someone sent my ex a "package" with 2 years of my posts form here and other legal message boards. In January 2004 he came and demanded the children return with him because he knew I was going to court. Oldest daughter refused to leave with him, so he allowed her to stay.

From February to May we talked about the situation, and agreed that since oldest daughter wanted to remain with me, we would modify custody agreement to reflect that. (Ex had cleaned up his act at home.) Our other 2 children wanted to stay with dad. Custody modified through the court July 8, 2004 to reflect me having physical custody of oldest daughter, and him having physical custody of our other 2 children.

Currently, I'm NCP of 2, and CP of 1.

Married SO in April this year, he has 2 daughters, 11 and 8, from a previous marriage that he's NCP of.

That's it in the smallest nutshell I could come up with. Lots more detail to the story than what I've posted, just like everyone elses. :)

[Gecko]

[em][font color=green]So are your three children older and either emancipated or almost there?[/em][/font]

My youngest three are two girls 18 & 15 and one boy 14.  The oldest actually moved out of Dad's the beginning of her Senior year  and stayed with friends in town so she could complete high school.  

She actually had pretty limited contact with her father after she left until I found out...five months after it happend (another story).  She asked a lot of questions about what her father was like when we were married and I did my best to be honest without being TOO honest, since I didn't think a lot of it was her business anyway.  

Long story short, after our talk, she went back to her father and talked to him and sort of worked things out in that she would come over and spend a couple of nights there.  I guess the discussion also had an impact with my ex because not longer afterwards, he called me and we had the first decent conversation ever in about six years.  It included him admitting that he might have made some errors in judgment due to "miscommunication".  

She recently moved to the "city" with a girlfriend.  I haven't done anything about changing the CS order until I find out whether or not she is going to school is fall.

[Butterfly]

Brief synopsis:

First marriage 1996-2000, divorced in Tucson, Arizona (daughter 3y.o., at the time)

I ended up losing residential custody of my daughter in a marital settlement agreement conference because I ran out of money to fight the father (and girlfriend, now SM) when they stooped to using false allegations as a legal tactic.  Effective, but a low way to win a custody dispute if you ask me.  Unfortunately for me at the time, I didn't believe in attacking her father...and that's what truly did it in for me.  

Anyhow...

I have joint legal custody with EOW visitation and a standard access schedule.

Marriage #2 to an active duty  F-15C fighter pilot of four years, great NCstepfather who respects father's familial position in SD's life and helps me, in any way possible, to maintain my long-distance parent-child relationship with DD now 7y.o.

I'm also active duty military of ten years as a military police officer, former drill instructor and will be exiting in March 05 to finish school and hopefully become a lawyer!!!  Woo-Hoo!!!

So far, there appears to be superficial peace between the households...trying like heck to provide a healthy familial life between two homes for a shared child...at least, so far as it depends on my side of her family!!  ;)
 



 

[MixedBag]

Hey there!

drop me an e-mail at "mybigguymike@aol.com" sometime.

I have a question.  

Thanks!