Had to sleep on this last night...

[kiddosmom]

Yes I am a non-custodial mom. Have been for 4 years. G8dad has always givin me any help I asked for, be it links I needed or just a shoulder to talk on.
I do not talk to him often, but there was always respect.

[Peanutsdad]

Wow,


The rancor I see in this board certainly makes it without doubt, the most highly charged emotionally here at sparc.

""Does it really matter why any of us lost custody? No, not really. Be it a man or a woman....doesn't really matter. The thing I thought we were all supposed to be looking for here is a way to be supportive and how to better deal with the situations we are all in...and to make sure our kids are OK and they know we love them.""



I agree with the make sure our kids are ok and know we love them. However; I strongly disagree with the reasons not mattering. In some cases, the reasons matter a great deal.

In answering anyone who looks for help here, the answers are the same and whether or not they are truthful in the telling of their situation, really doesnt matter as the answers really wont help those who are in the wrong.


Is your own custody struggle still ongoing?

[olanna]

Yes, it's still going on...

When I said it really doesn't matter why we lost custody, I was referring to the basically good folks on this board that got screwed by the courts..and for all purposes, most of the people that come to these boards are looking for help with custody, visitation and child support issues. Those that show up here to try to screw an ex or get out of paying CS don't last long...no matter what gender.

Liars get found out soon enough, as well. So I stand by what I said about it not mattering as to why most people on these boards lost custody.

If I didn't care about my son and his situation, why would I come here looking for support? If my ex and I were able to co-parent well together, I would have no need to come here and get advice/look for help, as we could solve issues on our own. Truth is, he's impossible and because of his immaturity, he really is hurting our son...and his wife is right along side, encouraging him every step of the way.

So far, through the help of this board, I have actually received advice on how to contact my son, and it worked! I also received help from an advocate and got a downward mod in CS that was 2 years overdue.  

This board can offer the honest folk that were royally screwed help and it's pretty unique in that few are like it.   It is my intention to ignore those that are looking for entertainment through online fighting and flaming, so the board space isn't wasted with the arguing and those folks, like me, that are looking for advice/support/guidance can get it without getting buried in the muck and mire.

As someone very dear to me pointed out, there are always going to be 10,000 of them and only one of me. It's going to be up to me to decide which battles are worth attending and which ones are best left to die on the vine.

I want help.  And I want support.

[olanna]

Well, perhaps in time, he might be that to the folks on this board, too, me included.  For now, I'm not feeling it.

[willskitten]

I don't recall calling you a liar.  I'll just leave you alone, I've got enough conflict to deal with from the ex's.  Telling me your story could have answered some of the questions I have, seeing it from your perspective could have helped.  As far as your buddy mixedbag is concerned...I have never asked any of the dads on here specifically how they lost custody because they have volunteered the info.  I have asked friends and friends of friends.  I will be more careful where I tread from now on....
BTW...How's the Dr. Phil thing going?  Maybe I'll see you there on Wednesday for the taping.

[willskitten]

Guess I'll let this one "die on the vine."  Good Luck to you and your son, Olanna.

[olanna]

I wish you all the best, kitten.  I think we all are on edge for so many different reasons...

I have spent the last five years of my life having to defend myself to the general population..I refuse to do it anymore. My only crime is having a child with and idiot.

[jilly]

That would be me :D

[Sherry1]

have not been there done that on that front!