I need help quick

[Forgotten Father]

Ok...my son has been diagnosed bipolar and has been in therapy for sometime now.

Well he has also been acting out at school and his mothers home.  Because of this he has been place on probation.  His behavior has only gotten worse and the judge is seriously considering placing him in a residential program.

This past weekend he got in trouble for going on the roof of his mothers home and drinking a bottle of wine (he is 13 years old).

At therapy today the doctor asked why he was drinking and my son stated that he did not see what the big deal was...that his mother and step father give him beer and wine all the time.  According to his mother she did not step in to say anything because my son was "on a roll".  My son went on to state that on fishing trips and parties his mother and step father give him beer and wine all the time.

Now to the part where my question comes in...my ex states that at the end on the session the doctor turned to her and said that he thinks he has finally gotten to the origin of my son's behavior.  Then he told them that they can continue the conversation on the way home and that he would see them tomorrow at a committment meeting scheduled for my son and representatives of the court.

As far as his statement about the origin of my son's behavior is he saying that he finally sees the problem.  Is the problem that my son is drinking or that his mother is giving it to him?

I could have passed out when my ex told me all this...I still have not figured out why she did.  Her defense to me was that they do not give my son alcohol all the time but that they have given him a beer here and there.  I find this completely unacceptable and I can only pray that finally someone has seen through my ex's charade.

She kept me out of my son's life for 12 years and I knew that there was alot that I did not know.  I knew that she was emotionally and mentally abusive to him and that her excitement in the fact that he is supposedly mentally defective has driven me crazy, but I had no idea that she was so hypocritical as to give my son alcohol and then have him sent away for drinking.

Sorry I got off track there.

Would I be correct in assuming that my son's therapist may finally be seeing the red flags?

Would you assume that this new information would be brought up at commitment meeting tomorrow?

Would my ex's actions be considered abuse?

Would the therapist be responsible for reporting this type of behavior on the mother's part?

Thank you,

Forgotten Father

[Rysimps0419]

It is defeninately considered abuse to allow and to contrubute acohol to a minor child, it would fall under neglect. If you were seeking custody you would have an excellent case, and it would be in your sons best interest to get supervised visitaion for your ex. By the way what is a commitment meeting. I am not sure if it is the therapists resposnibilty or not but if you wanted to report you wuould have great back-up from him or her.

Good Luck,
Sandy

[Forgotten Father]

Okay...now would the fact that she has "given him a beer here and there" (her words) still constitue neglect/abuse.  Honestly I have no idea how much is here and there.

To me giving a child one beer is a sign that you have no understanding of your responsibility as a parent, but would a judge see it as a "don't do it again" type of thing.

The commitment meeting that he went to was to get everyone's feelings about putting him in a residential treatment program (long summer camp type program).

He continues to violate his probation...I think it is because he doesn't want to live with his mom, but he doesn't want to actually say it.  The stuff that he is doing is more mischief than anything (except the alcohol incident) but because he is involved in the courts everything is a violation.

I really appreciate your answer on this and would like to hear your opinion on my above question.

Thankyou,

FF