Child Custody Or Child Abuse?
The following article was published Jan 8, 1998, on the editorial page of
the Victoria Times-Colonist (Canada)
Father-deprivation is a more reliable predictor of criminal activity than
race, environment or poverty.
Father-deprived children are:
1. 72% of all teenage murderers.
2. 60% of rapists.
3. 70% of kids incarcerated.
4. twice as likely to quit school.
5. 11 times more likely to be violent.
6. 3 of 4 teen suicides.
7. 80% of the adolescents in psychiatric hospitals.
8. 90% of runaways
Sources: National Fatherhood Initiative, US Bureau of Census, FBI
Father-deprivation is a serious form of child abuse that is
institutionalized and entrenched within our legal system. Powerful sexist
people in Canada have a vested interest in diminishing the role of men,
especially their role as fathers. Research proves that children thrive
with the active and meaningful participation of both biological parents,
and is true even for post-divorce families.
Divorced fathers would like somewhere between full and half time custody,
and are willing to make the appropriate lifestyle adjustments to
accomplish it. The myth that fathers are disposable and/or replaceable is
an assault against our families and communities. Fathers who show their
love and responsibility towards their children by working long hours to
provide comfort and security will find those sacrifices used as a weapon
against them. They discover that they sacrificed too much - they are
dismissed as the 'secondary care-giver'. Feminist legal dogma and
contrived statistics have reduced divorced fathers to wallet-parents,
possibly with a few visiting hours. Children are thereby deprived of
their father and fathers are deprived of their children - without just
cause. Fathers alienated from their children are left with either
humiliating submission or disobedience, with the only remaining debtor's
prison reserved exclusively for non-custodial fathers.
Dr. Richard Gardner coined the phrase "Parental Alienation Syndrome
" (PAS): the process whereby one parent initiates the systemic
vilification of the other parent by manipulation of the child with the
intent of alienating the child from the other parent. Dr. Glenn
Cartwright of McGill University expanded the parameters of PAS in 1993,
saying "PAS also causes the child to enter the [vilification] dynamic,
becoming a weapon and a spokesperson and a co-combatant." Dr. Charles
Ferguson, Director of the Child Protection Centre said, "The
psychological damage to children used as pawns is abuse in itself."
PAS is encouraged by Canada's "winner take all" sole custody presumption.
PAS is the inevitable result of legal battles where a parent uses
children as a means of controlling and manipulating an ex-spouse.
Sole-custody parents have it in their power to arbitrarily revoke
other-parent involvement. Embittered sole-custody parents often poison
their own children's minds with claims that the other parent doesn't
care, and the courts don't view that as a problem worthy of mention. As
part of divorce battles, credulous social agencies facilitate false
allegations of child abuse. Careers, reputations and emotions are
devastated... overwhelmingly fathers. We should not be surprised that
these 'throw-away' parents are driven to desperation.
The primary opponents of shared custody are feminist organizations like
NOW. In propaganda articles like "Father's Rights
Groups: Beware Their Real Agenda", they portray every father as a monster
with a hidden agenda to "...place women and their children in harm's way."
But, if men are as dangerous as they say, why marry and have children by them? In
fact, when women are finished with the old husband and father, they usually get
re-married to some other woman's 'terrible' husband and father! Demanding
sole custody without cause should be considered evidence of parental
irresponsibility and false allegations should result in penalties that
will be effective deterrents.
Politicians pander to false presumptions about fathers, assuring us a
bitter future. In 1991, Anne McLellan (now Canada's Minister of Justice)
wrote "...joint custody may simply perpetuate the influence and
domination of men over the lives of women." Her sexist views are not
uncommon, especially within the legal system and government ministries.
The darker side of sole-custody is rarely acknowledged by anyone in
government. Enabling anyone to abuse children as the means of controlling
and extorting an ex-spouse is inconsistent with a free and democratic
country.
Love and care from both parents meets the best interests of children.
Shared parenting should be the presumption, with only neglect or abuse
being valid cause to grant sole-custody. Shared parenting is the model
favored by moderate father's groups and social scientists. Shared
parenting is being implemented in many jurisdictions. Mediation leads to
reasonable solutions and should precede all divorces whenever children
are involved. The Victoria Men's Centre proposed a legal Presumption of
Shared Parenting to the Senate during the Bill C-41 (Divorce Act) debate
and the Libertarian Party adopted that proposal as it's Family Law
Policy. Perhaps, if we all ask nicely, other political leaders will open
their eyes and do the right thing for our families.
Dick Freeman, Joseph Maiello, Mike Jebbett
Directors, Victoria Men's Centre (VMC)