A review of "Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex" by Richard Warshak. ISBN: 0-06-18899-5, 306pg, hardbound.
Make no mistake about it: Divorce Poison is the only book on the market that gives you practical, useful techniques that you can use to help combat parental alienation. Dr. Richard Warshak is a clinical, research, and consulting psychologist who is arguably one of the world's leading authorities on parental alienation, its causes, and its effects. Dr. Warshak has produced a truly groundbreaking work in Divorce Poison.
In Divorce Poison, Dr. Warshak covers the subject of parental alienation thoroughly, including detailed discussions of why parents practice alienating behaviors, what form these behaviors take, and what to do in response to alienating behavior.
Divorce Poison is filled with "Take Action" boxes, containing solutions and techniques to combat or neutralize virtually every kind of alienating behavior you may encounter. For example, in the chapter titled "Corruption Of Reality", one of the "Take Action" sections appears as shown below:
If your ex attempts to sabotage your child's enjoyment of time spent with you, and is to some extent successful, you should try to help your child understand what has happened rather than remain silent. If you remain passive in the face of encroachments, you give your child no help in resisting divorce poison. Children are more likely to resist alienation if they perceive the target parent as willing to confront and expose the manipulations of the other parent, First, ask your child for his ideas, If he is unable to identify how his negative behavior was influenced by your ex, give your explanation. For example, "Mommy wanted you to think your party wouldn't be much fun if we only had eight guests."
Reminder: Most discussions of divorce poison are best conducted at a time when you and your child are relating well.
This is excellent and well thought-out advice. As mentioned before, Divorce Poison is filled with these "Take Action" sidebars, and each one contains a valuable little 'nugget' of information that you can use.One of the most distinctive (and heartening) aspects to the book is its assertive "take charge " approach to the problem of alienation. Most other books on parental alienation caution you to 'sit tight' and not rock the boat, insisting that in time most children will 'come around' and 'see the truth' about what is happening. We happen to feel this kind of approach is the worst thing you can do- many children never recover from parental alienation and permanently lose any meaningful connection with the targeted parent.
Sitting by while your child is turned against you and not doing anything about it not only spells disaster for your relationship with the child, but it allows the child to be set up for a variety of emotional and psychological problems later in life. Dr. Warshak's recommendation to actively oppose the alienation is the only responsible course of action a parent can take in our opinion.
We think Divorce Poison is a true 'must have' for any mother or father dealing with parental alienation. Much like the value of a healthy parent-child relationship, the information in Divorce Poison is priceless.
Based on price (reasonable) as well as content (generally useful), we rate Divorce Poison as a 5-star resource (on a scale of 1 to 5).