A Contemplative view of thought processes by Edward F. Baldwin Jr.
This paper, by Edward Baldwin Jr., was originally written for an English class. It is used here with the author's permission. Victim Of A Sex Crime
Hello, my name is Ed, and contrary to what my son’s mother has told the court, I am not an alcoholic. I am not a gun owner. I am not a wife beater and I am not a drug lord. I am not anything other than the father of a wonderful seven-year-old boy. This person’s name is Otis Reed Edward Baldwin. This little guy, in my opinion is one of the greatest things to happen on this planet since sliced bread.
Up until one year ago, Otis and I spent most of the last eight years together, that is until his mother decided she wanted to remove me from his life. This is when I became a Victim of A Sex Crime. Not only was I raped of my fatherhood, I was impregnated with wicked thoughts of hate for the times in which we live in, when being a man makes you guilty until proven innocent.
This sex crime that I was involved in was viciously brutal. I took one of the worst beatings in my life. Months went by that I could not eat, and due to the fact that the feeling in my stomach was so horrible, at one point I lost almost thirty-five pounds. I was highly depressed, and had started to actually hate myself for what had happened. I must be some evil disfigured beast, I thought, having had my own offspring removed from my life. I must have caused this myself. I must have brought this on.
Digging further into these feelings I started to realize what a rape victim must feel like. I felt ashamed, dirty, unwanted, and paranoid. I lost my job, and was ripped off by a wicked band of thieves that called themselves lawyers. I had to undergo test after test, constantly being humiliated by underpaid, (mad at the same world they were so desperately trying to save) social workers. I was overcome by anxiety. I was forced to hand over documentation of my personal life, of all sorts. This documentation included religious, medical, and personal information for the last five years. The gangbang did not stop there.
Medically I was forced to give up urine samples. These samples were to be given at the court’s disposal. I could receive a phone call at three in the afternoon telling me to drop, and have to drop by five, as they held my son hostage. Noncompliance would mean forfeiture. At one point the doors of my house were forced open. The peeping toms thrust themselves across my threshold leaving not one drawer unopened. This was their last and final blow. The humiliation was almost unbearable, and if it were not for the fact that the light at the end of this horrid tunnel was my son and his needs there would have been no way to bear this weight.
After a year of savage sodomization, torture and brutality, Himmler’s crew had found what they were looking for. I was an acceptable father in their eyes and this was supposed to be my salvation. These jerk-off's approval, the same people who helped my wife kidnap my child were now helping me get him back. This left me asking the question of the decade: What is wrong with our society when we are guilty before proven innocent, and what is so wrong with being a man today?
My story is one of a million cases today in America. The saddest part of my story is the truth behind it. Most fathers in this situation are forced to give up, just becoming a paycheck in their children’s life. In the eyes of the law, a man in a domestic "situation" is to be removed from the house and is guilty until proven innocent. Most men cannot bear this burden and knowing the struggle they are about to face and their chances of winning they decline to battle. This is the spawning seed for what some call a 'dead-beat dad'. I am not in denial to the fact that we have 'loser' parents that exist with or without this situation.
In an article titled Thank Heaven for little Boys, Ana Veciana-Suarez writes about being the mother of four boys. She claims to come across certain generalizations about her boys within her daily life. People actually apologize to her for having four boys. "No matter what their characters, all men are targets for bashing." . . . "How did we come to view males as fatally gender flawed gender . . ."? (380-81)
Women and men alike, especially those of the P.C. (Politically Correct) persuasion can be found bashing men from here to the Amazon. I hear complaints from many women. You know what I mean: Men are insensitive brutes. Men manipulate women and subjugate them in marriage. Men are deadbeat fathers. They can’t commit to relationships. Men are angry Peter Pans, perpetually boyish and often irresponsible. On and on go the diatribes. (380-81)
It is clearly obvious that our society needs to look in to equal rights on all levels. Being that sexism is a form of racism it needs to be eradicated. However we support sexism in our child custody courts on a daily basis. The equal rights movement has not helped in evolving our culture to being an equally leavened symbiotic species, however it seems to justify reverse sexism in our courts. Our focus in equal rights is misguided.
Lobbyists left and right speak of equality in the work place, equality in the job markets, equal opportunity in schools, equal this, and equal that. Until we form equality within our households, how can we even expect to see it within the reflecting pool of society? The Men’s equal rights movement is squashed by machismo pride before it ever gets out of the house. The force that supplies this pride is fear. This fear is driven by the fact that if they do choose to speak out they too will most likely become a victim of a sex crime.
WORKS CITED: Katherine Anne Ackley, Readings Across the Disciplines. Perspectives on Contemporary Issues: Social and Behavioral Sciences, Gender and Sex Roles. Harcourt College Publishers, 2000.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Edward Baldwin is currently a college freshman at University of Central Oklahoma. In December of 1998 Baldwin had Sudden Cardiac Death. He was pronounced dead when paramedics found him, in the bathroom of his house. Baldwin’s death comes from a inherent condition known as Hypertrophic Cardio Myopothy. Edward was lucky enough to be resuscitated (brought back to life).
Edward spent a part of that December in a coma. Doctors did not know what life for Baldwin could hold in store after this event. The percentages were leaning more towards him not waking from the coma at all. His first sign of recovery was speaking. The words he said were, "Where is Otis, is Otis all right?"
As part of his self-recovery program he moved to Oklahoma City to be near family and take a break from California big city life. Being that he had a six-year-old son at the time this was a very hard decision. Baldwin chose to leave his child with his ex-wife making things easier all around. With a spit and a handshake he was off to heal. Little did he know that his son's mother was filing motions with the courts claiming abandonment and would soon be trying to make all visitations impossible. After almost two years in court and tens of thousands of dollars Edward along with numerous lawyers, investigative panels, the Family Conciliation Court of Arizona, and son Otis Reed Edward Baldwin have convinced mother to settle out of court.
The summer of 2001 will mark Otis’s first visit to Oklahoma City. It has been an uphill battle all the way. "There is no doubt in my mind; I was guilty before proven innocent. The fear and stress almost killed me (I must avoid stress at all costs). I would encourage any father to pursue a relationship with their children no matter the cost."